malait

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malait

18Fucked!

malaitmalait
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4163
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About malait : Dive instructor and law student, but my true talent is netflixing

malait's page activity

Visits<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 5:06am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 1:42pm<b>HeatTransferFlow</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 7:16pm<b>roock87</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 5:37pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 4:36pm<b>clara_cl</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 8:12pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 4:24pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 9:33am<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 5:03pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 12:25pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 8:56pm<b>ozzytiff</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 11:41pm<b>billboob</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:29pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:20pm<b>sophie0908</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 6:05am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:13am<b>1802ben</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:05am

Fucked!<b>stryder9090</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 3:33pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 9:30am<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 5:42am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:08am<b>newzealand</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:05pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:04pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 4:40am<b>billboob</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 2:47am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:01am<b>914smv</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 6:41am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 6:32pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 5:51pm<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 12:10pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 7:39am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 10:44pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:58pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 1:25am<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:25pm

malait's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of malait's badges

malait's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2012 at 1:59am / United States / Animals

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

by wut / 08/05/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend told me he still has the key to our mailbox, while being at the other part of the country. Not to worry though, he sent it over. By mail. FML

by Lara / 08/03/2012 at 7:28am / Italy (Toscana) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

by mcase / 07/31/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my iPhone got back from being fixed. When I opened the box there was a note attached to my phone that said, "All you had to do was turn it on." FML

by ryanharp2 / 07/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying to look cute and playing with my hair in front of a boy, I pulled a piece of my hair extension out. FML

by Roma-Jay / 07/22/2012 at 10:13am / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML

by cmck932012 / 06/26/2012 at 2:18am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2012 at 9:11am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

by anonymous / 06/14/2012 at 10:54am / China (Jiangsu) / Health

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2012 at 6:24am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML

by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love

Today, while I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to put the car into reverse instead of drive while I was waiting for traffic to clear. I don't think the people who own the car behind me were laughing. Nor is my now ex-boyfriend. FML

by Broke / 05/28/2012 at 5:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML

by reddd / 05/10/2012 at 2:44am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was having a hard time waking up. When I sat down for breakfast, my chair rocked backwards. I reflexively grabbed out at something to hold on to. Unfortunately, I grabbed the cereal box that was on the table. FML

by Fillifilo / 04/18/2012 at 12:38am / France / Miscellaneous