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malait

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malait

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3095
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About malait : Engineer to be

malait's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 10:11pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 6:25am<b>DeMamp</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 4:21am<b>taterrtots</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 3:00am<b>Naruffy</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:45am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:59am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:09pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 1:50am<b>the_only_spoon</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:17pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:34am<b>lannisters</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:55pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:59pm<b>spiers1</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:04am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:06pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:22am<b>faerieonacid</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 7:44pm<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 3:49am<b>rylaii</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 2:52am

Fucked!<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 1:25am<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:25pm

malait's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of malait's badges

malait's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

#18086804
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15751) - you deserved it (38547)

On 10/27/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Deborah - United States

Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML

#18072512
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40086) - you deserved it (6088)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

#18038155
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27681) - you deserved it (3098)

On 10/21/2011 at 11:35am - animals - by Mr.P - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34413) - you deserved it (5600) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML

#17968240
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21237) - you deserved it (13230)

On 10/12/2011 at 4:05pm - misc - by Nickname (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

#17649868
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12052) - you deserved it (51037)

On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

#17468167
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38676) - you deserved it (10329)

On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

#17375446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52848) - you deserved it (2683)

On 08/05/2011 at 4:41am - misc - by thehumanshield - United States (California)

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

#17027356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42549) - you deserved it (2566) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)

Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML

#16309963
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34520) - you deserved it (3996)

On 05/23/2011 at 6:17am - misc - by elle -

Today, I learnt that eating McDonald's, Twisties, Chocolate and popcorn, then regretting it and going to the gym is a bad idea. I discovered how far vomit, on a moving treadmill, can be thrown across a room. FML

#16054918
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12711) - you deserved it (46212)

On 05/05/2011 at 9:47am - health - by gymgirl (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

#15714709
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23673) - you deserved it (39938)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by Sid (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents told me that due to my lacking height and weight, I legally have to sit in a booster seat in the car from now on. I'm nineteen. FML

#15188063
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47185) - you deserved it (5264)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML

#15013181
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32543) - you deserved it (5111)

On 02/17/2011 at 5:39am - animals - by shaunaaa (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML



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