malait

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malait

18Fucked!

malaitmalait
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4164
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About malait : Dive instructor and law student, but my true talent is netflixing

malait's page activity

Visits<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 5:06am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 1:42pm<b>HeatTransferFlow</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 7:16pm<b>roock87</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 5:37pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 4:36pm<b>clara_cl</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 8:12pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 4:24pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 9:33am<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 5:03pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 12:25pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 8:56pm<b>ozzytiff</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 11:41pm<b>billboob</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:29pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:20pm<b>sophie0908</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 6:05am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:13am<b>1802ben</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:05am

Fucked!<b>stryder9090</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 3:33pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 9:30am<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 5:42am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:08am<b>newzealand</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:05pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:04pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 4:40am<b>billboob</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 2:47am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:01am<b>914smv</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 6:41am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 6:32pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 5:51pm<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 12:10pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 7:39am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 10:44pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:58pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 1:25am<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:25pm

malait's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of malait's badges

malait's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

by preggers / 11/30/2011 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML

by no low five / 11/30/2011 at 6:17am / United States / Love

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she bought the same perfume that my boyfriend got me for Christmas last year. He loves that perfume. Now, whenever he smells me, he's going to think of his mom. FML

by Annoyed / 10/28/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was pulled over for going the wrong way on a closed highway. The construction signs pointed me in that direction, and the cop agreed that they should be fixed. Did it stop him from giving me a ticket anyway? Nope. FML

by ashleyyyy / 10/28/2011 at 11:59am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm / United States / Work

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

by Mr.P / 10/21/2011 at 11:35am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the emergency room for busting my lip open, I had to lie and tell them I slipped and fell. In reality I was singing with the soap bottle and slammed it into my lip. FML

by Nickname / 10/12/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML

by only1bigdogme / 09/03/2011 at 1:24am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML

by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous