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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (2513)
On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)
Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15205) - you deserved it (26050)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by choldcreations - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19905) - you deserved it (3339)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - misc - by jess (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20962) - you deserved it (4522)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29743) - you deserved it (1278)
On 03/06/2010 at 7:49pm - money - by uneducated - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my six year old daughter cut out the stomach area of four of my favorite shirts. When I asked her why she had done so she replied, "So that they fit your tummy better, Mommy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21104) - you deserved it (4144)
On 03/06/2010 at 8:05am - kids - by Fatty (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was upset that my boyfriend hasn't called in a while. Turns out, my step-mother blocked his number so he can't call. She never told me and, instead, just let me think he hated me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19421) - you deserved it (1495)
On 03/03/2010 at 4:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27513) - you deserved it (3960)
On 03/03/2010 at 4:18pm - misc - by uHazFailedTotall - Norway (Rogaland)
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (2459)
On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (2459)
On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States
Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24926) - you deserved it (2434)
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36458) - you deserved it (7463)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I learnt that if you accidentally sit on a hamster, instead of dying, it bites your testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7183) - you deserved it (27366)
On 03/01/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by ItHurtsLIkeHell (man) - Malaysia (Pulau Pinang)
Today, I was at the gym with my boyfriend. He is a bit feminine, but it has never really bothered me. Until I realised I was lifting heavier weights than he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19533) - you deserved it (6566)
On 03/01/2010 at 3:53am - love - by Delilah (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, after finalizing my divorce, I decided to go out with a guy I had been ogling for months, after much anticipation and a few rounds of drinks at the bar, I was ready to roll. Much to my disappointment, his penis was so small the condom wouldn't stay on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16350) - you deserved it (5316)
On 03/01/2010 at 2:30am - intimacy - by Lovejunkie (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Monday 17 June 2013
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