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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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mak_attack

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mak_attack
  • Town/Country : Ohio, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 279
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mak_attack's favorite FMLs

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

#5799559 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (3209)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was carrying several bags of groceries up the stairs to my 3rd story apartment when I saw a giant rat climbing down the wall towards me. I screamed and dropped my groceries, which went over the rail and landed on the bottom floor, destroying them all. The rat? Just a big leaf. FML

#5798950 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (6737) - you deserved it (20893)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:19pm - misc - by n_london (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the grocery store. I saw a very cute guy in the aisle and smiled. He smiled back and blushed a little. He walked over and I flirted with him. He said, "I thought you should know the zipper on your jeans is down" and walked away. It was. FML

#5793907 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (18600) - you deserved it (4524)

On 10/12/2009 at 10:13am - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing hysterically and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

#5770681 (41)

I agree, your life sucks (20088) - you deserved it (1998)

On 10/11/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by foxbrat - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

#5769209 (204)

I agree, your life sucks (4539) - you deserved it (76115)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (5638) - you deserved it (29156)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I rear end a car on the parkway. We pull over, he tells me his car is fine and then askes me out on a date. It was only when I replied "no" that he decided he wanted his car fixed. FML

#5759599 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (20912) - you deserved it (12189)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom left for Italy at 4 in the morning. I found a note in my lunch that said "Sorry hun! I'm not coming back! Say bye to Cessna for me!" Cessna is her cat. FML

#5757498 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (38831) - you deserved it (1505)

On 10/10/2009 at 1:00pm - animals - by hate (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML

#5529870 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (2173)

On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as "My other girlfriend." FML

#5526124 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (32147) - you deserved it (2564)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was picking up my 10 year old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML

#5525269 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (34221) - you deserved it (2076)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:13am - kids - by justgreat (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (54090) - you deserved it (6455)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I arrived at work at 8, and business was abnormally slow, but we assumed it would pick up. Few hours later, we had not had a single customer. As I walk out of the restaurant, I realize the open sign has been off all day. FML

#5519537 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (6196) - you deserved it (23539)

On 09/28/2009 at 12:03am - misc - by Charlotte - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (27762) - you deserved it (3628)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up at 3 in the morning and realized I forgot a 30 page english essay that was due the next day. Knowing I still had 12 pages to research and write, I bolted. I worked until 12PM and was almost done when my dad came in and unplugged the computer because I "need to go outside more." FML

#5507181 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (41202) - you deserved it (7849)

On 09/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by riotrock (man) - United States (Nebraska)