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mahovalia

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mahovalia
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  • Number of visits : 1568
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mahovalia's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30099) - you deserved it (8628)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling good about it until I saw the interviewer. It was a guy I had sex with and never called again. He remembered me too. FML

Today, I received a ticket for not having my headlights on. The cop who pulled me over had a broken headlight. FML

#18715182
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23788) - you deserved it (3954)

On 01/05/2012 at 10:56am - money - by FML - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

#18714264
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31356) - you deserved it (1543)

On 01/05/2012 at 6:43am - money - by cazorp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML

#18713489
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29589) - you deserved it (3561)

On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)

Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level. He told me that he couldn't have sex with me because of his religious beliefs. I would've been fine with this if it weren't for the fact that I know he and his family are all atheists. FML

#18710247
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26803) - you deserved it (2990)

On 01/04/2012 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

#18704788
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28231) - you deserved it (4697)

On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States

Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML

#18703158
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8791) - you deserved it (58829)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:28am - money - by hitchhiked - United States (California)

Today, my mom came home from surgery. Upon arriving home, she flashed a paper in my face and said, "Want to see pictures of my colon?" My eyes are still burning. FML

#18703060
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19306) - you deserved it (2526)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:15am - health - by emsbuffalo - United States

Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML

#18700467
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20177) - you deserved it (1703)

On 01/03/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by mazzer (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27710) - you deserved it (4464)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

#18697253
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (5961)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ignored my phone, as my mother has dementia and calls me 15 or so times a day, thinking each time is the first. I braved horrendous rain and gale-force winds to go to work. Turns out it was work calling to tell me not to bother coming in. FML

Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of the new year. After 5 hours of putting it together, I realized that all the ceilings in every room of my apartment are too low for me to use it without hitting my head. I can't return it. FML

#18695783
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18003) - you deserved it (7792)

On 01/03/2012 at 9:57am - health - by fatandsad (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML

#18694109
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25929) - you deserved it (1983)

On 01/03/2012 at 3:14am - love - by snarly1 - United States (California)



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