magzulism

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magzulism

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 333
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 9 posted

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magzulism's page activity

Visits<b>fxmd</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 10:28am<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 5:06pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 7:39pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 2:44pm<b>amc597</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 10:53pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 3:37pm<b>beefsupreme78</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 11:09pm<b>aceofspadesnix</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 5:02pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 12:16am<b>Emma1562</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 10:36pm<b>Becca34</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 10:45pm<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 4:23pm<b>mrodgers290</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 10:51pm<b>lexiieeex3</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 3:23am<b>172pilot</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 9:47am<b>blakelastovica</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 10:07am<b>heartlessbiotch</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 11:37pm<b>goawayy</b> - the 06/06/2013 at 4:26pm

Fucked!<b>eski2015</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 8:44pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 9:37pm<b>beefsupreme78</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 5:09am<b>aceofspadesnix</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:02pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 6:16am

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magzulism's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

by O_O / 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

by SamWGovan / 12/09/2012 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML

by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML

by mel_bear_ / 03/14/2012 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

by -_- / 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

by Taylor / 07/30/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids