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magnusbane

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magnusbane

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magnusbane's favorite FMLs

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (40142)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29154) - you deserved it (4624)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11889) - you deserved it (30997)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML

#14136515
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25476) - you deserved it (5552)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (3314)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

#3603925
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53949) - you deserved it (2801)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

#1315252
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46589) - you deserved it (8876)

On 04/25/2009 at 8:18am - misc - by plasticfantastic - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

#448904
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (136379)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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