Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

magnusbane

Search for a member

magnusbane

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 55
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

magnusbane's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

magnusbane's favorite FMLs

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26035) - you deserved it (40422)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29909) - you deserved it (4701)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11940) - you deserved it (31078)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML

#14136515
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25885) - you deserved it (5598)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37896) - you deserved it (3363)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

#3603925
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54100) - you deserved it (2806)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

#1315252
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46706) - you deserved it (8892)

On 04/25/2009 at 8:18am - misc - by plasticfantastic - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

#448904
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31364) - you deserved it (138276)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: