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magmon

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magmon

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magmon's favorite FMLs

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

#21096273
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41503) - you deserved it (3441)

On 03/25/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

#21095019
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30552) - you deserved it (19271)

On 03/24/2014 at 8:39am - misc - by pantyripper (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

#21092226
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41949) - you deserved it (3020)

On 03/20/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by nehadrihan - United States (California)

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43285) - you deserved it (9387)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML

#21084031
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35992) - you deserved it (3913)

On 03/11/2014 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41121) - you deserved it (7757)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking through town with my hood up and noticed people giving me funny looks. It wasn't until I got home that I realised the umbrella I was holding over my head had been closed the whole time. FML

#21079127
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36882) - you deserved it (14721)

On 03/05/2014 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Portsmouth)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40315) - you deserved it (9334)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41405) - you deserved it (12488)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

#21006441
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38412) - you deserved it (3939)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by NNTA (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53111) - you deserved it (7917)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

#20993906
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37766) - you deserved it (3397)

On 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm - kids - by lavenderpiss (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47274) - you deserved it (6006)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was invited over by my girlfriend's parents, but I couldn't bring myself to take part in their discussions. During a lull in conversation, I noticed everyone was staring at me. Covering myself while I tried to think of something to say, I grabbed an apple and took a bite. It was plastic. FML

#19035452
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27355) - you deserved it (8683) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2012 at 5:11pm - misc - by Bonapp - France



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