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magikarpsmurfs

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magikarpsmurfs

11Fucked!

magikarpsmurfsmagikarpsmurfs
  • Town/Country : Cleveland, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 May 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 445
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About magikarpsmurfs : Legos & Eggos on a dragon roller coaster ride, down skittles mountain this time. My best friend is a mime & I can't seem to find my lucky leprechaun in my mind. I only like dogs when they can beat me in pong. Never trust a fish that doesn't clean it's dish. Onions think that they're ugly because you cry after you get them naked.

magikarpsmurfs's page activity

Visits<b>The_FML_Princess</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 11:05pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:28pm<b>emmusj</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 11:40pm<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 9:18pm<b>Mogo25067</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 2:11pm<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:30pm<b>Mario_mane</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 9:32am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 2:31pm<b>BigL99</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:27pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Reneshade</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:31pm<b>Callyn</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 7:10am<b>Casper___t</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:37am<b>gshpigboy</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:00am<b>adragonhunter</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 5:57pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 3:28pm<b>Nagas</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 3:17pm<b>fantae</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 12:53pm

Fucked!<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 8:30pm<b>BigL99</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 12:28am<b>gshpigboy</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 8:00am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 2:22pm<b>kittyninja19</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 7:21am<b>Baka_Me</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 6:44am<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 5:24am<b>Lilbrunswick7</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 3:48am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:46am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:24am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 12:45am

magikarpsmurfs's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of magikarpsmurfs's badges

magikarpsmurfs's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29462) - you deserved it (3954)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27775) - you deserved it (4558)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

#21411484
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13614) - you deserved it (29994)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:53pm - health - by Idle_Twin - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

#21255419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44926) - you deserved it (13098)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

#21216984
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39722) - you deserved it (25475)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:55am - intimacy - by teegtwo (woman) - United States

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML

#21206177
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40526) - you deserved it (6147)

On 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm - health - by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53208) - you deserved it (8261)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband came clean to having an affair with my sister. I later found out my other sister encouraged the affair because she thought they'd be a cute couple. FML

#21194001
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56541) - you deserved it (4075)

On 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm - love - by outoflove (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49270) - you deserved it (12923)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54269) - you deserved it (7401)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML

#21150333
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49072) - you deserved it (6178)

On 05/24/2014 at 3:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42621) - you deserved it (10897)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, I was texting a girl I like, explaining how she looks like an attractive celebrity. She responded with a picture of a very unattractive lady and asked if she looked like that. I told her if she had been caught in a burning building, then yes, that would look like her. It was of her mom. FML



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