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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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magiczipperman

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magiczipperman
  • Town/Country : boston
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 29 July 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 967
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About magiczipperman : im one cool cat

magiczipperman's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

magiczipperman's favorite FMLs

Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML

#3756487 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (43691) - you deserved it (1340)

On 07/14/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to become a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

#3503607 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (53074) - you deserved it (2368)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by fd_uplife (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML

#3055426 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (9807) - you deserved it (67616)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

#3028643 (398)

I agree, your life sucks (44096) - you deserved it (9263)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a bath in the bathroom we are currently renovating. There's a big hole in the middle of the floor. When I got out of the bath, I swung one leg across the gap to get a towel from the rack. I drew back my leg and looked down to see my brother's hot friend staring up at me in horror. FML

#3025655 (279)

I agree, your life sucks (36509) - you deserved it (13737)

On 06/19/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by ilikeirishducks (woman) - Italy

Today, my older brother told me that no matter how fast you run at automatic sliding doors, they'll open in time. So I ran at a pair. They don't. FML

#3016666 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (10041) - you deserved it (72688)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by kat9232000 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me telling me I have problems communicating and that I didn't understand her. When I asked her why she didn't talk to me about this before she said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML

#2987293 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (41918) - you deserved it (2139)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164 (334)

I agree, your life sucks (18712) - you deserved it (81310)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I picked up my 17 years old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said "so you are the daddy" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a ho and I a perv. FML

#2940204 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (51139) - you deserved it (4226)

On 06/16/2009 at 1:22pm - intimacy - by enderw (man) - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

#2919658 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (20777) - you deserved it (34014)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by kitkat545 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was getting it on with my cute guy friend in his candlelit bedroom and we had just started tearing each other's clothes off. I decided to be coy and sexy and flip my hair to the side. As I did so, my long hair caught in the flames of his lit candles and caught half of my head on fire. FML

#2513205 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (47393) - you deserved it (23528)

On 06/01/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Bawo (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML

#2499784 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (16543) - you deserved it (45301)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by sweet_02 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (93860) - you deserved it (4275)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

#2496205 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (50249) - you deserved it (5081)

On 06/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by TeeJay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

#2471479 (257)

I agree, your life sucks (59897) - you deserved it (8400)

On 05/31/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by fmeplease (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)