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Mobility
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51543) - you deserved it (7138)
On 08/01/2009 at 4:15am - misc - by Alice (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59557) - you deserved it (12172)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, was my boyfriends birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52223) - you deserved it (20569)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43547) - you deserved it (13018)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by oops... (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18089) - you deserved it (41781)
On 05/25/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by ninjawhat1337 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I decided to give my virginity to my boyfriend of four months, because I told him I loved him. Two minutes after he'd pulled out, he grabs his cell and mass texts "I FINALLY GOT LAID!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (58226) - you deserved it (18719)
On 05/22/2009 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50834) - you deserved it (21037)
On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (99007) - you deserved it (15606)
On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462286) - you deserved it (574228)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (353931) - you deserved it (66720)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (10710)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Yudansha (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12495) - you deserved it (27394)
On 01/28/2009 at 4:24am - work - by carboat - United States (California)
Today, I decided to get a Blizzard from Dairy Queen. As bent down to put my pen away, my Blizzard somehow defied the laws of gravity and fell on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10323) - you deserved it (2515)
On 01/22/2009 at 6:10am - love - by sadtimes - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16002) - you deserved it (1428)
On 01/16/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United Kingdom
Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7837) - you deserved it (34762)
On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)
Friday 24 May 2013
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