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magicman13's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
magicman13's favorite FMLs
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
by techiefIve / 06/14/2011 at 6:04am / United States (California) / Geek
Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
by Ryan / 06/11/2011 at 10:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML
by Kate / 06/07/2011 at 3:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by KillMeNow / 06/06/2011 at 2:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
by zain / 06/04/2011 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, while babysitting I decided to play with a children's puzzle to pass the time. Fifteen minutes in I gave up. The kid then came over and put it together in less than five. There were only ten pieces. FML
by Username / 06/03/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/02/2011 at 12:17am / Miscellaneous
by nofriends / 06/01/2011 at 12:28am / Japan (Tokyo) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML
by weddingblues / 05/30/2011 at 12:19am / United States (New York) / Geek
Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML
by Cassie / 05/21/2011 at 3:44am / United States (Kansas) / Love
by Ahlph / 05/20/2011 at 12:43am / Miscellaneous
by ThisPerson / 05/19/2011 at 6:11am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…