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magicman13

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magicman13

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  • Number of visits : 1286
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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magicman13's favorite FMLs

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41282) - you deserved it (3712)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got officially uninvited to a party. This is the third one this month. FML

#16741320
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28135) - you deserved it (7670)

On 06/19/2011 at 4:44am - misc - by loser (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother thought it would be funny to disable my iPod Touch for 45 minutes. After 45 minutes, I went to enter my password. I missed a number accidentally. 50 minutes to go. FML

#16734083
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20549) - you deserved it (27249)

On 06/18/2011 at 8:27pm - misc - by iDisable - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realised I'm sitting at home alone on a Friday night, watching a documentary online about decomposing elephants. FML

#16718637
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28822) - you deserved it (9408)

On 06/17/2011 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, my son's homework was to write a story about what he wants to be when he grows up. He wrote that he plans on being unemployed and living at home until we throw him out, then he'll live under a bridge. He's only 12, but already planning for a future as an unemployed bum. FML

#16676970
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33608) - you deserved it (7882)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by Seriously (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13659) - you deserved it (47877)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#16609106
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54328) - you deserved it (6841)

On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

#16542323
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11612) - you deserved it (39241)

On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

#16524791
575 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95533) - you deserved it (10478)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44003) - you deserved it (3262)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, while babysitting I decided to play with a children's puzzle to pass the time. Fifteen minutes in I gave up. The kid then came over and put it together in less than five. There were only ten pieces. FML

#16481636
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9807) - you deserved it (54092)

On 06/03/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

#16461868
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (16697)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I wrote in my own yearbook with different styles of handwriting so my mom would think I have friends. FML

#16445488
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49688) - you deserved it (13412)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:28am - misc - by nofriends - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML

#16411122
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35321) - you deserved it (21445)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:19am - love - by weddingblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

#16277483
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23780) - you deserved it (42914)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Cassie (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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