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magicman13

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magicman13
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 855
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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magicman13's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#16609106
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51870) - you deserved it (6585)

On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

#16542323
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10127) - you deserved it (36656)

On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

#16524791
575 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90861) - you deserved it (9838)

On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41976) - you deserved it (3131)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, while babysitting I decided to play with a children's puzzle to pass the time. Fifteen minutes in I gave up. The kid then came over and put it together in less than five. There were only ten pieces. FML

#16481636
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9346) - you deserved it (52578)

On 06/03/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

#16461868
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29486) - you deserved it (16256)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I wrote in my own yearbook with different styles of handwriting so my mom would think I have friends. FML

#16445488
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44972) - you deserved it (11913)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:28am - misc - by nofriends - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML

#16411122
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34202) - you deserved it (21008)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:19am - love - by weddingblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

#16277483
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21657) - you deserved it (40528)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:44am - love - by Cassie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I made it my life goal to own a towel heater. FML

#16262012
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8120) - you deserved it (22485)

On 05/20/2011 at 12:43am - misc - by Ahlph -

Today, my 53 year-old art teacher told me she's excited about going clubbing this weekend. I'm excited about watching a special on the History Channel. FML

#16249376
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25436) - you deserved it (5811)

On 05/19/2011 at 6:11am - misc - by ThisPerson - Canada

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18837) - you deserved it (58349)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I realized I have more dogs than I do friends. I have two dogs. FML

#16126414
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31773) - you deserved it (5768)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

#16125377
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38743) - you deserved it (4220)

On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -

Today, I was told that I am an incredibly boring person and that it's no wonder I have no friends. I think they're right; last night I dreamt about a nail file. FML

#16064729
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26819) - you deserved it (6330)

On 05/06/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by goinginsane -



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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