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magicman13's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
magicman13's favorite FMLs
by xXEmmaLieXx / 03/03/2015 at 12:37pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by dickofbrokendreams / 03/02/2015 at 12:14am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by Wutdafuqq / 02/23/2015 at 3:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML
by Anonymous / 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Chemist-why / 01/30/2015 at 10:11am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, for the nth time, my father reminded me that I should study things related to the "real" world, as if I was studying theology, astrology or something. I'm studying for a master's degree in physics. FML
by Anonymous / 01/29/2015 at 6:32pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Work
Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML
by katrina2d / 01/27/2015 at 12:43am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
by okay17 / 12/29/2014 at 12:00am / United States / Miscellaneous
by sexualpopcorn / 12/20/2014 at 10:37pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML
by LonelyGuy / 12/15/2014 at 6:59am / Australia / Love
Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML
by ashamed / 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2014 at 11:28am / United States (Oregon) / Love
- Today, my virgin girlfriend who wanted to lose her virginity to me got on Google, and quizzed me on… Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and… Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked…
- Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided… Today, I ran an experiment perfectly in lab. I was the last in my class to finish and proud of how… Today, I found my daughters hiding spot. Yeah there was dolls, matchbox cars and coloring markers.…
- Today, a lady came for a death certificate at the city hall reception where I work. Reflexively, I… Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, my boyfriend whispered to me, “I’m so tired of these fucking mosquitos.” When I asked why he…