Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

magickitten

Online | Search for a member

magickitten

32Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 728
  • Number of comments : 115
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About magickitten : A self confessed tea drinking, cat loving, sofa sleeping Daryl Dixon obsessive.

Likes: Marmite sandwiches, Thor and sunshine.
Dislikes: Russell Crowe, shoes built for comfort and wooden lollipop sticks.

Twitter: @TheMagicKitten
I've a super gorge kitten who's got her own Instagram!
Insta: penelopkittenfur

magickitten's page activity

Visits<b>earljonez</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 9:54am<b>odamaliekh</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 7:24pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 9:37am<b>madi113</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:10pm<b>Wrex</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 11:42am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:52am<b>fmleli</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:45pm<b>nestor666</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 3:10am<b>Dramori</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:54pm<b>lilpsyco</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:02am<b>niallo</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 11:27am<b>slackerjoe</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:35am<b>smackaroonial</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 12:53am<b>caleb_ohs</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:40am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:56am<b>jinxy333</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:22am<b>Scryll</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 1:02pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 7:15am

Fucked!<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:54pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:34am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 8:33pm<b>Incognico</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:50pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:31pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:30pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 12:32pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:02am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:00pm<b>kooljac702</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:36pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:49pm<b>khorstmye</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:17pm<b>edmunson</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:37am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:45am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:12am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 7:03am<b>briang959</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 4:19am<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 1:54pm

magickitten's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of magickitten's badges

magickitten's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

#21391420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26795) - you deserved it (2868)

On 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm - misc - by dickhead (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my 5-year-old son how school went today. He sighed and said "Fuck off, dad." I thought kids only became such colossal douchebags in their teens. FML

#21387117
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28919) - you deserved it (5470)

On 04/03/2015 at 5:15pm - kids - by no, YOU raised him (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

#21384606
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29214) - you deserved it (3191)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27855) - you deserved it (2777)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it is the one-year anniversary of my mother's death. It's also the day my father chose to announce his engagement to the whole family. FML

#21373156
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36511) - you deserved it (2360)

On 03/12/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by EnglandRocks - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, at a music festival, some douche unzipped the back of my skirt, exposing my Ninja Turtle undies to everyone before running off. FML

#21369215
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30908) - you deserved it (4510)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:03am - misc - by no touching - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

#21360985
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32574) - you deserved it (1911)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49500) - you deserved it (4194)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

#21350891
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37751) - you deserved it (2876)

On 02/06/2015 at 11:56am - love - by that guy - United States (California)

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

#21350431
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24154) - you deserved it (14059)

On 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by gumchuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37520) - you deserved it (2576)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML

#21341011
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (4751)

On 01/20/2015 at 3:24pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

#21334934
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28791) - you deserved it (2342)

On 01/11/2015 at 3:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply "#rekt", then "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

#21334865
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (3151)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:57am - love - by kumcat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML

#21334608
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34738) - you deserved it (2365)

On 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: