Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

magickitten

Online | Search for a member

magickitten

31Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 598
  • Number of comments : 110
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About magickitten : A self confessed tea drinking, cat loving, sofa sleeping Daryl Dixon obsessive.

Likes: Marmite sandwiches, Thor and sunshine.
Dislikes: Russell Crowe, shoes built for comfort and wooden lollipop sticks.

Twitter: @TheMagicKitten
I've a super gorge kitten who's got her own Instagram!
Insta: penelopkittenfur

magickitten's page activity

Visits<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - 8 hours ago<b>eyebrowzzz</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:56am<b>sb4331</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 7:04am<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 2:41am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 2:04am<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 1:24am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 12:20am<b>imerichello</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 10:33pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 7:52pm<b>HelloMatey</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:56pm<b>Brunofk7</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:25pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:54pm<b>OmgItsCobalt</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:35pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 3:33pm<b>pikachu_43</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:43pm<b>tiggerlover100</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 2:03pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 1:32pm<b>EpicGoatman</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 1:18pm

Liked!<b>imerichello</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:34am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 8:33pm<b>Incognico</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:50pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:31pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:30pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 12:32pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:02am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:00pm<b>kooljac702</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:36pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:49pm<b>khorstmye</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:17pm<b>edmunson</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 7:37am<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 3:45am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:12am<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 7:03am<b>briang959</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 4:19am<b>robertd73</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 1:54pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 6:20am

magickitten's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of magickitten's badges

magickitten's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25905) - you deserved it (2698)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it is the one-year anniversary of my mother's death. It's also the day my father chose to announce his engagement to the whole family. FML

#21373156
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36308) - you deserved it (2355)

On 03/12/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by EnglandRocks - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, at a music festival, some douche unzipped the back of my skirt, exposing my Ninja Turtle undies to everyone before running off. FML

#21369215
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30816) - you deserved it (4501)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:03am - misc - by no touching - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

#21360985
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (1776)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47194) - you deserved it (3769)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

#21350891
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36889) - you deserved it (2601)

On 02/06/2015 at 11:56am - love - by that guy - United States (California)

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

#21350431
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (14623)

On 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by gumchuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37377) - you deserved it (2570)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML

#21341011
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24994) - you deserved it (4746)

On 01/20/2015 at 3:24pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

#21334934
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28749) - you deserved it (2338)

On 01/11/2015 at 3:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply "#rekt", then "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

#21334865
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26381) - you deserved it (3147)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:57am - love - by kumcat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave a presentation to my college class about life with Tourette syndrome. I only got 3 minutes into it before my asswipe classmates started yelling stuff like "Shit!", "Cock!", and "Bob Saget!" I gave up and went back to my seat in tears as our bored instructor said "Next." FML

#21334608
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34755) - you deserved it (2359)

On 01/10/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sister compared me handling the news of recently being told that I have a devastating and very possibly fatal autoimmune disease, to that of a teenager being melodramatic. FML

#21329069
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32833) - you deserved it (2395)

On 01/02/2015 at 12:37am - health - by Sisterly Love - United States (Michigan)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34857) - you deserved it (2805)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realised I was far too attached to my duvet. Literally. I just got a large tattoo on my back, and my duvet somehow stuck to my skin during the night and formed part of the scab. I now have the joy of deciding whether to tear it off fast or peel it away slowly. FML

#21306764
65 comments


Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: