Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1052
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About magickitten : A self confessed tea drinking, cat loving, sofa sleeping Daryl Dixon obsessive.

Likes: Marmite sandwiches, Thor and sunshine.
Dislikes: Russell Crowe, shoes built for comfort and wooden lollipop sticks.

Twitter: @TheMagicKitten
I've a super gorge kitten who's got her own Instagram!
Insta: penelopkittenfur

magickitten's page activity

Visits<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 10:44am<b>ChippyChoppy</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 11:15am<b>person2707</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 10:05pm<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 5:24am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 10:42pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 8:47pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 7:32pm<b>explodedtaco</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 3:02pm<b>michelle42</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:18pm<b>Rodville</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 10:13am<b>StupidMonkey497</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 9:39am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 1:14am<b>Alup132</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 12:22am<b>pratikp03</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Unused_Account13</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 10:59pm<b>rnarshmallow</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 10:44pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 10:14pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 10:09pm

Fucked!<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 10:24am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 1:33am<b>explodedtaco</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 9:02pm<b>Koios</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 2:42am<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 5:47am<b>brimye</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 5:13am<b>lolol123</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 4:44pm<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:54pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:34am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 8:33pm<b>Incognico</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:50pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 5:31pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:30pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 12:32pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:02am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 6:00pm<b>kooljac702</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 9:36pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 4:49pm

magickitten's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of magickitten's badges

magickitten's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (10884)

On 10/20/2015 at 6:13am - love - by bubblewrap (woman) - United Kingdom (Swindon)

Today, I went in for an interview for my first ever job. Just seconds after meeting the boss, I slipped on the linoleum floor. I was wearing a skirt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23640) - you deserved it (2137)

On 10/09/2015 at 12:58pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend told his friends he was dating me. We've been together for a year and a half. His friends didn't even know I existed before. FML

Today, a customer yelled at me because the cherry pie he bought had cherries in it, and he wanted a refund. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27951) - you deserved it (1776)

On 06/02/2015 at 4:59am - work - by IrNatalie - United States (Arizona)

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28474) - you deserved it (3222)

On 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm - misc - by dickhead (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my 5-year-old son how school went today. He sighed and said "Fuck off, dad." I thought kids only became such colossal douchebags in their teens. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31354) - you deserved it (6226)

On 04/03/2015 at 5:15pm - kids - by no, YOU raised him (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (3652)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29616) - you deserved it (3089)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it is the one-year anniversary of my mother's death. It's also the day my father chose to announce his engagement to the whole family. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38538) - you deserved it (2644)

On 03/12/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by EnglandRocks - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, at a music festival, some douche unzipped the back of my skirt, exposing my Ninja Turtle undies to everyone before running off. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32800) - you deserved it (4948)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:03am - misc - by no touching - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34216) - you deserved it (2031)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53070) - you deserved it (4454)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39918) - you deserved it (3025)

On 02/06/2015 at 11:56am - love - by that guy - United States (California)

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (15387)

On 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by gumchuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML


I agree, your life sucks (40014) - you deserved it (2762)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: