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maggzilla

Offline (the 10/07/2014 at 10:09am) | Search for a member

maggzilla

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 485
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About maggzilla : I enjoy reading about other people's misery.

maggzilla's page activity

Visits<b>Canyoudig_it</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 9:17am<b>olpally</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 1:22pm<b>persianninja</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 11:03pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 5:23am<b>luminis12</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 6:23am<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 2:52am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 1:56pm<b>Draco_Malfoy</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 2:13am

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maggzilla's favorite FMLs

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60921) - you deserved it (13811)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53368) - you deserved it (8643)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47330) - you deserved it (4879)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14757) - you deserved it (57871)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54790) - you deserved it (14393)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31854) - you deserved it (12517)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

#20508270
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38339) - you deserved it (9367)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16270) - you deserved it (27314)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34522) - you deserved it (3959)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45882) - you deserved it (7269)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

#20461178
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36542) - you deserved it (2593)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46335) - you deserved it (5624)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28741) - you deserved it (3152)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10175) - you deserved it (34520)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States



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