Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

maggzilla

Search for a member

maggzilla
  • Town/Country : British Columbia, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 232
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About maggzilla : I enjoy reading about other people's misery.

maggzilla's last visitors

Canyoudig_itolpallypersianninjaincoherentrmblrluminis12JoelsLastNightNolimit2217

maggzilla's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of maggzilla's badges

maggzilla's favorite FMLs

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13595) - you deserved it (54903)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50213) - you deserved it (13070)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27365) - you deserved it (10984)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML

#20508270
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33462) - you deserved it (8576)

On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14596) - you deserved it (24710)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31767) - you deserved it (3701)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43838) - you deserved it (7003)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

#20461178
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32179) - you deserved it (2303)

On 01/15/2013 at 6:16pm - misc - by Sydney - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44782) - you deserved it (5466)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27693) - you deserved it (3048)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9145) - you deserved it (31876)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28440) - you deserved it (8507)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wearing the same outfit. FML

#20184947
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21824) - you deserved it (5144)

On 11/30/2012 at 1:30am - misc - by Awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (5415)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30448) - you deserved it (2482)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: