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Offline (the 10/07/2014 at 10:09am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1508
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About maggzilla : I enjoy reading about other people's misery.

maggzilla's page activity

Visits<b>Canyoudig_it</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 9:17am<b>olpally</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 1:22pm<b>persianninja</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 11:03pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 5:23am<b>luminis12</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 6:23am<b>JoelsLastNight</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 2:52am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 1:56pm<b>Draco_Malfoy</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 2:13am

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maggzilla's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

by O_o / 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

by Anonymous / 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

by CUNTCUNTCUNT / 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

by freed / 01/29/2014 at 12:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 12:14am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

by Vincent / 01/02/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, a lady told me that I should sue whoever screwed up my "nose job" so badly. This is the nose I was born with. FML

by :^( / 12/07/2013 at 12:30pm / Bahrain (Madinat) / Health

Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2013 at 6:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

by #isthisthepoundkey? / 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

by Wheredigowrong / 10/21/2013 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

by DisgustinglyFrustrated / 10/10/2013 at 11:40am / Argentina (Santa Fe) / Intimacy

Today, I told my coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted me while I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

by CreamGravy / 10/06/2013 at 9:54am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous