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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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maggie_gxx

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maggie_gxx
  • Town/Country : Sugar Land, United States.. bam.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 32583
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About maggie_gxx : sup fool.

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maggie_gxx's favorite FMLs

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (47615) - you deserved it (2250)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (38837) - you deserved it (2216)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML

#4188521 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (34854) - you deserved it (6642)

On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML

#3193922 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (35388) - you deserved it (9739)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by embarrassed4life (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML

#3074596 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (32694) - you deserved it (11477)

On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (73322) - you deserved it (13613)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

#2688793 (488)

I agree, your life sucks (24334) - you deserved it (224134)

On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147 (336)

I agree, your life sucks (15338) - you deserved it (50726)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my super creepy live-in uncle standing in the kitchen holding a pair of my underwear and smiling at it, humming to himself. He didn't see me. I stood there for at least 30 seconds in shock, and when I backed away he was still looking at them. FML

#2531202 (627)

I agree, your life sucks (96450) - you deserved it (3616)

On 06/02/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by wtf. (woman) - United States (Utah)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

#2492711 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (55203) - you deserved it (3352)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML

#2489611 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (10179) - you deserved it (23812)

On 06/01/2009 at 12:50am - money - by steph (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

#2464831 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (51481) - you deserved it (6803)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Heather (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was beautiful out. I decided to play guitar at the park near my house. I left my guitar case open, asking not for money but for feedback. I got two pieces of paper with feedback: 1) You're fat. 2) Get a life. FML

#2429175 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (34728) - you deserved it (8910)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by peopleinthepark (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML

#2422362 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (40162) - you deserved it (2912)

On 05/30/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by mraow123 (man) - United States

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

#2421163 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (48376) - you deserved it (4036)

On 05/30/2009 at 12:24am - kids - by sdasdflkjas (woman) - United States