Obsessive over:
The Beatles
Death Note (Mello, L)
And FML for me is just another way to spend a rainy afternoon on stupid dial up Internet.
Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7093) - you totally deserved it (22103)
On 10/08/2009 at 1:14am - kids - by stupidsantaclaus (woman) - United States (California)
Today, we were doing stretches in dance class where you are on your hands and doing the splits in the air while your partner helps hold you and stretch your legs further. Right as I lift my left leg up, I farted hugely right in my partner's face. I couldn't make eye contact for the rest of class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20402) - you totally deserved it (4721)
On 10/08/2009 at 1:05am - misc - by belle_arina (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16085) - you totally deserved it (6880)
On 10/07/2009 at 4:07pm - health - by Nochnoii (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57719) - you totally deserved it (1750)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was babysitting my niece when we decided to play hide and seek. I went in the shed, and waited. After waiting a while, I went to go back inside to see what was happening. I saw my niece had locked all the doors and was eating cookies on the kitchen bench. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6760) - you totally deserved it (20670)
On 10/07/2009 at 6:42am - kids - by vbscb (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I poured my heart out into what had to be my greatest set of lyrics for my band ever, at the same time my teacher was explaining chemical changes to the class. At the end of the lecture he picked up my paper, and set it on fire to demonstrate a chemical change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22304) - you totally deserved it (19453)
On 10/06/2009 at 6:23pm - misc - by 3LLI0TT (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I met my new roommate. I also met her stuffed animals, who introduced themselves to me. My roommate makes inanimate objects talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you totally deserved it (2301)
On 10/06/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by roomie487 - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23668) - you totally deserved it (3387)
On 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26613) - you totally deserved it (1759)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - misc - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up (after a night of drinking) in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall with a note saying "Sorry Dude". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7132) - you totally deserved it (23152)
On 10/05/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7245) - you totally deserved it (21647)
On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24025) - you totally deserved it (1815)
On 10/03/2009 at 11:34am - health - by Pwnedofthedead (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22543) - you totally deserved it (2239)
On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I checked in a group of men from Mexico. I speak just enough spanish to realize they're discussing my breasts. I have to stand there smiling while checking in three more people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20796) - you totally deserved it (2016)
On 10/03/2009 at 6:31am - work - by Spanishredhead (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20518) - you totally deserved it (1566)
On 10/02/2009 at 6:23pm - love - by Zamaria - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
