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mady123

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mady123

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  • Number of visits : 32
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mady123's favorite FMLs

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23846) - you deserved it (6192)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

#20007279
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21189) - you deserved it (2218)

On 08/07/2012 at 5:19am - health - by TheCerealKiller - United States (California)

Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML

#20007202
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9373) - you deserved it (29416)

On 08/07/2012 at 3:48am - misc - by Embarrassed - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

#19920264
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23541) - you deserved it (1496)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by Deadcat101 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

#19776443
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16628) - you deserved it (12270)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27591) - you deserved it (4214)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
465 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40937) - you deserved it (3176) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I went over to my friend's house. We were teasing each other, when she stood up and began to jokingly walk away. Trying to be cute, I tried to pull her onto my knee. I miscalculated and she ended up sitting right on my boner. FML

#18098530
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29855) - you deserved it (17597)

On 10/28/2011 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

 Today, my mom is marrying my ex boyfriend's dad. The same ex boyfriend who I caught cheating on me with my sister. Family gatherings are going to be such a joy! FML

#17793249
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41802) - you deserved it (2480)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by AL - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of two years dumped me, because I'd changed too much for her to bear, and I was breaking her heart. How did I change? I got braces. FML

#13713440
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32045) - you deserved it (2863)

On 11/04/2010 at 11:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50022) - you deserved it (3466)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend started to kiss my boobs. I am pregnant and started my lactation period. Now every time he looks at me he calls me milky way. FML

#12674562
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29415) - you deserved it (5222)

On 08/22/2010 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ananomus - United States (Ohio)

Today, I congratulated my friend for getting engaged. This is the fourth friend of mine this year that has become engaged. I haven't even had a boyfriend yet. FML

#8992820
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26507) - you deserved it (5008)

On 03/11/2010 at 7:16am - love - by Lonely (woman) - New Zealand

Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML

#8336704
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7177) - you deserved it (27352)

On 02/16/2010 at 11:43am - work - by alex (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

#6494612
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30157) - you deserved it (4505)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by chacha - United States



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