About madskittlesftw : Hello! You are my stalker but that's alright I love the attention. I'm currently 16.
Also, some people just-* shakes head in disappointment* just don't get humor..
Oh, I love you.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8094) - you deserved it (30570)
On 09/17/2011 at 4:37am - misc - by jj4320 - United States (California)
Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18453) - you deserved it (2555)
On 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28551) - you deserved it (8924)
On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25019) - you deserved it (3875)
On 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13323) - you deserved it (32027) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33782) - you deserved it (7427)
On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend humped me to the tune of the Imperial March from Star Wars. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13614) - you deserved it (4487)
On 01/17/2010 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by ChubbyTubby (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29341) - you deserved it (4106)
On 01/11/2010 at 8:25am - love - by krisx3ftw (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43967) - you deserved it (8462)
On 08/08/2009 at 9:41pm - intimacy - by blank13 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45762) - you deserved it (2671)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35687) - you deserved it (14976)
On 06/05/2009 at 9:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462522) - you deserved it (574538)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (185422) - you deserved it (21618)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (178485) - you deserved it (61533)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I masturbated 3 times to the thought of my wife because we don't have sex anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54296) - you deserved it (6481)
On 02/01/2009 at 5:27am - intimacy - by SuperJesus - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)
Friday 24 May 2013
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