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madnessking

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madnessking

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 January 1934 (80 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 616
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About madnessking : My life is all in all pretty good. However, it has its moments...

madnessking's page activity

Visits<b>kissmeImawkward</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 1:28am<b>ajh557</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 1:15am<b>AttackofTheCammy</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 10:38pm<b>pinklala15</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 7:04pm<b>andrewscity116</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 1:31pm<b>applebramble</b> - the 02/14/2014 at 5:01pm<b>mea_iloveskiing</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 8:53pm<b>four0seven</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 6:42am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 1:32am<b>ArmAismylife</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 11:16pm<b>antea88</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 6:30am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 1:16am<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 7:21pm<b>singularstar</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 12:27pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 7:12am<b>miiapaige</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 10:40am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 3:30pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 4:42pm

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madnessking's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML

#21062405
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38079) - you deserved it (4258)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by shanti (woman) -

Today, I accidentally asked the cashier at Wendy's how much their 99 cent chicken nuggets were. I guess he is still laughing at me. FML

#21056193
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35817) - you deserved it (18758)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the library, working with some classmates on our major semester project. I accidentally killed power to the row of computers by me. I've never had so many enraged faces looking at me before. FML

#21052823
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34073) - you deserved it (14424)

On 02/06/2014 at 10:07pm - work - by AnonymousQuagga - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54311) - you deserved it (6006) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41632) - you deserved it (4554)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

#21034458
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26524) - you deserved it (40869)

On 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm - kids - by Ginger_Gawd - United States (Florida)

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37119) - you deserved it (19873)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58138) - you deserved it (5173)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21768) - you deserved it (48483)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53215) - you deserved it (32364)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

#21021931
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39479) - you deserved it (12374)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49041) - you deserved it (17458)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44069) - you deserved it (8801)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend found an old nude of me on his best friend's PS3. I had no idea this guy existed until we moved in with him. FML

Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML

#21010039
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44017) - you deserved it (4108)

On 12/30/2013 at 12:57am - health - by candidcripple (man) - United States



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