About madnessking : Hi! Im Isaac, and Im 16 years old. I am a Christian, and love to play the violin. (still working on my guitar) I love to talk to people, so message me if you want to chat!
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madnessking's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML
by Stuby14 / 11/23/2015 at 9:31am / United States (South Dakota) / Intimacy
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 5:03am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I found out my coworker was arrested for beating the crap out of his wife. I gave him a serious pep talk yesterday where I told him to stop taking her shit and start standing up for himself. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 2:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids
Today, I set my car's speed to 125km/h to pass the speed camera announced by a road sign. Sure of myself, for a laugh I flipped the bird as I went by. When the flash went off, I realised that the speed limit was 110 km/h, not the usual 130 km/h. FML
by yvon la moto / 11/06/2015 at 5:26am / Spain (Madrid) / Transportation
by erphy21 / 09/26/2015 at 4:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I came home from a stay at my girlfriend's place. My little brother stepped on my bag and accidentally switched my vibrator on. I told him the buzzing sound was my electric toothbrush. He went to the bathroom and came back with the toothbrush. He won't stop asking what's in my bag. FML
by dannidoll93 / 08/22/2015 at 10:59am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML
by Just wanted a cigarette / 07/30/2015 at 10:06pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 12:32pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by strangely / 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML
by HAIL SITHIS / 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was telling 3 classmates on Whatsapp about my depression. One of them told me to "nut up n grow a pear." 2 hours after we mocked him for being an illiterate jackass, one of us has had our car tires knifed and another's house has been egged. I'm terrified of what will happen to me. FML
by Anonymous / 07/24/2015 at 1:59pm / Northern Mariana Islands / Health
by fuck / 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy
Today, while I was at home watching Netflix, my parents drunkenly stumbled through the door making out the whole time. I thought that the situation couldn't get worse, but then my Dad asked me if I had a condom they could use. FML
by oil300 / 07/22/2015 at 10:34pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy
- Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with… Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be… Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse…