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madmanmajor

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madmanmajor
  • Town/Country : mouse jaw, Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 506
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About madmanmajor : Im a cat. Meow. Bitch

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madmanmajor's favorite FMLs

Today, my family went to the Christmas tree farm, and cut down the perfect tree. When we got home we put the kids down for a nap and took some time to relax. We went out to the truck to bring the tree into the house, it was gone. Someone stole my Christmas tree from my driveway in broad daylight. FML

#6565181
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25581) - you deserved it (4766)

On 12/02/2009 at 5:57am - misc - by Project-Mayhem (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML

#6493322
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29313) - you deserved it (9068)

On 11/28/2009 at 11:17am - love - by moon_paw (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML

#6401291
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16658) - you deserved it (2919)

On 11/22/2009 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Arachnaphobic (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and with the words "F*** you". Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML

#6229163
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31960) - you deserved it (2014)

On 11/09/2009 at 3:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30571) - you deserved it (12809)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a music festival when a group of idiots decided to push over a port-a-loo (portable toilet). I rushed over and tried to hold it up to save the person inside from a very messy and embarrasing scene. Not only did the door open, covering me in excrement, but there was no-one inside. FML

#5681273
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35010) - you deserved it (8303)

On 10/06/2009 at 11:56am - misc - by good-samaritan-fail (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned that if you're going to tell your mother you are gay, make sure she isn't holding a frying pan filled with hot grease. FML

#5530332
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54281) - you deserved it (12777)

On 09/28/2009 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boss fired me because a coworker had seen me reading magazines on the job. That same coworker was the one who offered me the magazine. FML

#5129906
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34318) - you deserved it (6480)

On 09/08/2009 at 4:48pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML

#4534707
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44666) - you deserved it (2172)

On 08/14/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by BFfail (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

#4326549
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17130) - you deserved it (33118)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by PeepShow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went into my part-time job at a drugstore. We always have one item we try and sell to every customer. For the next week I have to ask every person if they would like to try my nuts. FML

#4147298
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35664) - you deserved it (3825)

On 07/29/2009 at 11:17pm - misc - by arsenic660 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

#4079125
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14940) - you deserved it (45866)

On 07/27/2009 at 12:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML

#3988589
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45218) - you deserved it (2420)

On 07/23/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by pleaseno (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML

#3931223
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38215) - you deserved it (7652)

On 07/21/2009 at 2:53pm - misc - by NotSoClean (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and were I getting it on in his bedroom where he had all of his anime models on display. I accidentally knocked over one of his models and it fell on to the floor. He got angry and kicked me out. Apparently, making his models look good was more important than us making love. FML

#3898181
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36042) - you deserved it (11207)

On 07/20/2009 at 2:18am - love - by mchhhoi (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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