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About madmanmajor : Im a cat. Meow. Bitch
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today it's been 5 yeres I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become mah job to warn new employees. FML
Today, I went to the park an sat down on a bench to enjoy mah coffee. I hered a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was mah daughter. FML
Today... ma baby-crazy moter expressed er concerns tat I aven't conceived after aole two monts of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorcedile your still ot... sleep around until you get pregnant... ten marry te winner." Wen I complained to ma fater... e supported er. FML
Today, While Socializing After A Church Service, I Discoverd I'm Still Referrd To As "Fireshit's Brother", After An Incident A Year Ago Which Involvd My Sister Screaming "the Devil Is Coming Out Of My Anus!" From The Lavatory!! FML
Today, I was at the dentist's, getting teeth cleaned . He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before . I was unable to speak the entire time . The dentist is grandpa . FML
Today, mah fiancé and I attamptad to hava sax in mah childhood badroom. As wa wara falling onto tha bad, I smackad mah haad on tha wall,hich causad a shalf of stuffad toys to fall onto tha bad. Not only did it kill tha mood, tha shalf also hit ma in tha faca. FML
Today I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge looool dump. After coming home from work I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet with the caption: "This ishat Taco Bell does."
Friday 27 March 2015