madmanmajor

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madmanmajor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1834
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About madmanmajor : Im a cat. Meow. Bitch

madmanmajor's page activity

Visits<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 5:52pm<b>keepkeep</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 6:35pm<b>ironjawber</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Blue329</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 12:39am<b>Milanxx</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 10:19pm<b>Gwen_99</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 4:09pm<b>Nicole1225</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 3:19pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 2:40pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 2:09am<b>vflores</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 10:25am<b>BFons</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 2:37am<b>StaceeeP</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 12:43am<b>kansah</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 1:42am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 12:35am<b>jazzybaby05</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 1:36pm

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madmanmajor's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

by ShakeRattleHiss / 04/20/2011 at 11:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

by suzyyy / 02/23/2011 at 4:18am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Money

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

by hannah / 02/17/2011 at 12:58am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 11:52am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

by duckthehack / 01/28/2011 at 9:25am / Poland (Wielkopolskie) / Kids

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

by JordanVilleneuve / 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my baby-crazy mother expressed her concerns that I haven't conceived after a whole two months of marriage. Her advice amounted to "get divorced while you're still hot, sleep around until you get pregnant, then marry the winner." When I complained to my father, he supported her. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2011 at 1:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said "right now?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

by notsoclean / 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML

by troubleintoyland / 12/23/2010 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my kids shaking me, saying, "Get up, Santa was here!" I got up to find my TV, computer and MacBook Air all gone. FML

by crazycora / 12/13/2010 at 2:32pm / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Kids

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

by newmother / 12/05/2010 at 8:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I check my facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption: "This is what Taco Bell does." FML

by tanya / 10/25/2010 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous