madmanmajor

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madmanmajor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1716
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About madmanmajor : Im a cat. Meow. Bitch

madmanmajor's page activity

Visits<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 03/01/2013 at 5:52pm<b>keepkeep</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 6:35pm<b>ironjawber</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 4:39pm<b>Blue329</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 12:39am<b>Milanxx</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 10:19pm<b>Gwen_99</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 4:09pm<b>Nicole1225</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 3:19pm<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 2:40pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 2:09am<b>vflores</b> - the 02/13/2013 at 10:25am<b>BFons</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 2:37am<b>StaceeeP</b> - the 02/12/2013 at 12:43am<b>kansah</b> - the 02/11/2013 at 1:42am<b>ICastillo</b> - the 01/10/2013 at 12:35am<b>jazzybaby05</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 1:36pm

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madmanmajor's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

by Kate / 06/07/2011 at 3:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2011 at 9:13am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

by fuck / 06/02/2011 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids

Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML

by kaleigh / 05/31/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

by Jess / 05/30/2011 at 11:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML

by weddingblues / 05/30/2011 at 12:19am / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

by milkymoo / 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm / Cyprus / Work

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

by Brie / 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm / United States / Animals

Today, I got so stressed about my upcoming final exams that, in the silent section of the library, I had a panic attack and almost passed out. No one helped me. 3 people shushed me. FML

by justletitbeover / 05/28/2011 at 8:20am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

by fatteningmeup / 05/26/2011 at 10:24am / United States / Health

Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he is at a suicide risk from depression. FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2011 at 1:21am / Canada / Work

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 3:16pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

by Mike / 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm / Health

Today, in order to avoid seeing my ex-girlfriend in class, I changed my schedule for "personal reasons." Apparently she had the same idea and changed her schedule as well. We now have all the same classes together. Before, we had just two. FML

by fatcat117 / 04/21/2011 at 9:53pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love