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madmanmajor

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madmanmajor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 693
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About madmanmajor : Im a cat. Meow. Bitch

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madmanmajor's favorite FMLs

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

#16542323
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11610) - you deserved it (39236)

On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered my mother went into the local pub where I work part time, got very drunk, and flashed her boobs at everyone. I found out when a picture was posted on Facebook. FML

#16527434
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33483) - you deserved it (2801)

On 06/06/2011 at 9:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

#16468673
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38359) - you deserved it (5399)

On 06/02/2011 at 2:43pm - kids - by fuck (man) - United States

Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML

#16435033
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36419) - you deserved it (9313)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by kaleigh - United States

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

#16416725
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51141) - you deserved it (4571)

On 05/30/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Jess - United States

Today, my fiancé informed me he didn't want a regular wedding cake, he wants a Batman cake. I have nothing against this, except that he already decided the wedding theme would be Star Wars. Essentially, I'm marrying a child. FML

#16411122
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35309) - you deserved it (21441)

On 05/30/2011 at 12:19am - love - by weddingblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

#16408581
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10307) - you deserved it (44029)

On 05/29/2011 at 9:45pm - work - by milkymoo (woman) - Cyprus

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

#16403007
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36543) - you deserved it (10295)

On 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm - animals - by Brie - United States

Today, I got so stressed about my upcoming final exams that, in the silent section of the library, I had a panic attack and almost passed out. No one helped me. 3 people shushed me. FML

#16384054
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30915) - you deserved it (8612)

On 05/28/2011 at 8:20am - work - by justletitbeover (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out my mom intentionally puts extra butter and oil in the food she cooks for me because she wants me to be fatter than her. FML

#16355568
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53073) - you deserved it (3373)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:24am - health - by fatteningmeup (woman) - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office. Expecting a long overdue promotion, I hurried in. Instead, he told me he thought I would be perfect to take his son on a pity date, because he is at a suicide risk from depression. FML

#16338194
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32604) - you deserved it (3087)

On 05/25/2011 at 1:21am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32804) - you deserved it (20215)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

#15949821
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36823) - you deserved it (4825)

On 04/27/2011 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

#15922476
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49130) - you deserved it (5781)

On 04/25/2011 at 5:39pm - misc - by Mike -

Today, in order to avoid seeing my ex-girlfriend in class, I changed my schedule for "personal reasons." Apparently she had the same idea and changed her schedule as well. We now have all the same classes together. Before, we had just two. FML

#15879148
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29680) - you deserved it (8898)

On 04/21/2011 at 9:53pm - love - by fatcat117 (man) - United States (New Mexico)



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