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madmanmajor

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madmanmajor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 761
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About madmanmajor : Im a cat. Meow. Bitch

madmanmajor's page activity

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madmanmajor's favorite FMLs

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you deserved it (9707)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37519) - you deserved it (9707)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9986) - you deserved it (71375)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because he has a pimple fetish. FML

#17304312
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37914) - you deserved it (4684)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26102) - you deserved it (4146)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

#17245235
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30229) - you deserved it (2309)

On 07/24/2011 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41392) - you deserved it (3672)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38074) - you deserved it (5258)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48517) - you deserved it (14385)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML

#17102276
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22880) - you deserved it (1910)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by BelleCharmante (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73614) - you deserved it (7678)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She is 16. FML

#17036042
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30053) - you deserved it (6848)

On 07/09/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's facebook wall. Apparently I give awful blowjobs. FML

#16996053
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37523) - you deserved it (10525)

On 07/06/2011 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anna - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. She told me about their sex life, described his dick in great detail, and showed me pictures of him shirtless. My coworker is 49; her fiancé is 56 and overweight. FML

#16985771
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41116) - you deserved it (4081)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:34pm - intimacy - by Jessie (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML

#16969681
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34107) - you deserved it (9364)

On 07/04/2011 at 3:27am - misc - by Gustav Fjorder - Switzerland



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