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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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madgoatcheese

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madgoatcheese
  • Town/Country : Fort Walton Beach, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 11 November 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 351
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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madgoatcheese's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML

#13823528 (239)

I agree, your life sucks (42785) - you deserved it (5966)

On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my brother's girlfriend and my girlfriend went out shopping. My brother's girlfriend bought a pair of killer black heels and a box of condoms. My girlfriend bought a pair of orange Crocs and a vibrator. FML

#12408550 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (31414) - you deserved it (9821)

On 08/09/2010 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Mikey832 (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842 (425)

I agree, your life sucks (29756) - you deserved it (4219)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

#8817091 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (14751) - you deserved it (5007)

On 03/04/2010 at 1:43am - intimacy - by fml1977 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I decided to be funny and tell him I was Iron Man and nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML

#6753896 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (7157) - you deserved it (22506)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, when I walked up to my car, all my windows were smashed. Thankfully, all I keep in my car is jumper cables, a pen, my car insurance and manual. Whoever smashed my windows apparently was pissed, 'cos they left a note saying "F**k you and your f**king station wagon". FML

#6315391 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (20973) - you deserved it (1453)

On 11/15/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Smashed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a mental break down. Many things have been going completely wrong in my life, and I finally decided to let my boyfriend know about it. After about an hour of explaining and pouring my heart out, his response was "I think we were better off as friends." FML

#5810614 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (22048) - you deserved it (3257)

On 10/13/2009 at 1:01am - love - by Schmolly (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221 (402)

I agree, your life sucks (16596) - you deserved it (57177)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was called by my son's school. He had been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse, my handwriting looking like a 6 year olds or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551 (526)

I agree, your life sucks (5783) - you deserved it (72002)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the pants. My girlfriend replied, "I'm not sure, but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML

#4754202 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (6242) - you deserved it (21701)

On 08/23/2009 at 2:54am - love - by Crossy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on the phone with my mother making arrangements to go to a dinner tonight where I will be honored for my political activism. She made it clear she's only going for me, and does NOT support the gay rights group that is putting the dinner on. I was planning on coming out after dinner. FML

#4391882 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (33598) - you deserved it (4955)

On 08/08/2009 at 7:59pm - misc - by acorn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML

#4382906 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (12076) - you deserved it (48463)

On 08/08/2009 at 10:53am - kids - by embarassed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

#4156027 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (44055) - you deserved it (2124)

On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, for our one year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to make me a patchwork blanket. The thing is, the patches were stains from bedsheets from where the 'wet spot' was. He thought it was romantic. FML

#3960027 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (41227) - you deserved it (3968)

On 07/22/2009 at 7:35pm - love - by OneYearMistake. (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML

#3949576 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (38303) - you deserved it (11002)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by Mortified (woman) - Australia (Queensland)