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madelinerudolf's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2013 at 5:34am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML
by solyana vr1 / 03/14/2012 at 9:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/27/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
by gerligrl97 / 06/12/2011 at 2:50pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I noticed a disgusting odor that seemed to be radiating off my brother. When I asked him about it, he replied, "I think it's ball sweat. I haven't had a shower in a few weeks, so it's hard to tell." FML
by anonymous / 06/09/2011 at 3:04pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML
by NYCguy / 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML
by epicc1584 / 07/30/2009 at 8:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband gave me an ultimatum - choose him or my male best friend. I chose my husband. My husband then admitted to me that he was hoping I would choose my best friend so he would have an excuse to leave me and wouldn't have to tell me he's been cheating on me. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2009 at 5:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
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- Today, as I was selling candles at the local farmer's market, the sky was clear, and it was empty… Today, I just found out that my little brother likes to peak through the crack of the bathroom door… Today, after choosing all classes that start after 11, so I could finally sleep in 'til 9 everyday,…