Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

maddyjayneexox

Search for a member

maddyjayneexox

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 816
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About maddyjayneexox : im 16 years old, but age is just a numberr, im a caring person, and fake people bother me.. i have had a hell of a craazy past but now im trying to start over, and i have the most aamazing fiance in the world.. any questionns?
message me i dont bite!

love is blind sometimes

maddyjayneexox's page activity

Visits<b>kyle8211</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 8:48pm<b>Rebekahxxx</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:48am<b>yehyeh</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 10:14pm<b>Liiiiiiiiike</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 8:10am<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 5:28am<b>MarkAidenAguilar</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:23pm<b>gtrven</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 12:17am<b>safaeita</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 8:52pm<b>Epalmss</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 5:03pm<b>XxQuartersxX</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 10:46pm<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 3:36pm<b>ilytyvm</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 6:50pm<b>minhoLee12</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 3:04pm<b>JcN</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 9:59pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 2:46am<b>cabrillo56</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 9:03pm<b>Glisbort</b> - the 06/25/2013 at 1:02pm<b>Allthatiam</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 3:51pm

maddyjayneexox's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of maddyjayneexox's badges

maddyjayneexox's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

#18036451
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (4278)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

#17439919
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12768) - you deserved it (32814)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

#17417239
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57582) - you deserved it (5763)

On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States

Today, while cleaning the bathroom in a suite at the hotel I work at, I heard a couple come in, and then a marriage proposal. She said no, that she had been seeing someone else and left the room. I was then alone in the bathroom, listening to a grown man sob. FML

#17415513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39248) - you deserved it (3767)

On 08/09/2011 at 3:35am - work - by smurfpoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML

#17381048
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30003) - you deserved it (3766)

On 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by moonstone15 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51153) - you deserved it (9837)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37440) - you deserved it (5601)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my step dad stole over $400 worth of savings from me. He spent it on alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero. FML

#17161191
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34784) - you deserved it (3675)

On 07/18/2011 at 9:08am - misc - by _TaToRtOt_ (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML

#17152929
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (7804)

On 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34560) - you deserved it (7585)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML

#17121994
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26315) - you deserved it (4758)

On 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm - health - by beachbumb8538 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14497) - you deserved it (63524)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

#17109043
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30572) - you deserved it (89077)

On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML

#17094831
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42950) - you deserved it (3593)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)

Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML

#17063705
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30074) - you deserved it (11414)

On 07/11/2011 at 5:25am - kids - by Mothering (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: