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maddy23a's favorite FMLs
by Damn / 05/06/2012 at 9:53am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by Eragons_Mommy92 / 05/04/2012 at 10:38am / United States / Money
by callen5 / 03/10/2012 at 10:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML
by MillyMan / 02/07/2012 at 12:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
by ugh / 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm / United States / Intimacy
by Tyler / 11/19/2011 at 3:05am / United States / Intimacy
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
by KaySchrages92 / 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by verno02 / 08/10/2010 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by guyshithappensto / 05/21/2010 at 10:41pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by A. Person / 04/07/2010 at 1:36am / Mexico (Sonora) / Transportation
Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2010 at 8:11pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by nutcracker / 02/23/2010 at 4:28am / Slovenia (Bohinj) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
by nyu / 01/25/2010 at 1:33am / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML
by Tights2Tight / 12/19/2009 at 2:29am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…