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Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3986) - you totally deserved it (25627)
On 10/09/2009 at 3:09am - work - by whitedevil (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was refereeing a kid's soccer game, and noticed that on the field next to me was a referee I hated working with. I told the other referee I was working with that he was the laziest and most dumbass referee I had ever worked with. She then slapped me, and told me that it was her grandpa. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3812) - you totally deserved it (20488)
On 10/09/2009 at 1:48am - work - by y0uw1shy0ukn3wm3 - United States
Today, I had my final divorce proceeding. The judge denied my divorce because my husband is unemployed. I can't get a divorce until he gets a job to pay child support. He hasn't had a job for 3 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25139) - you totally deserved it (1626)
On 10/08/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by branwen5 - United States
Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49119) - you totally deserved it (2879)
On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was fired for not attending a mandatory meeting. I confronted my boss and told her I never heard anything about it, she told me that daily reminders had been sent out via email for weeks. She then discovered that she failed to enter my email address in the system. I was still fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33348) - you totally deserved it (1124)
On 10/02/2009 at 5:31pm - work - by Rae (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I started my new waiter job. I walked up to the first table to serve and realized the girl on the left was my girlfriend and the guy on the right is my brother. My girlfriend told me she'd be out of town. I threw a glass of water at my brother and yelled at my girlfriend. I lost my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27495) - you totally deserved it (6785)
On 10/02/2009 at 5:10pm - work - by dumbarse (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3784) - you totally deserved it (37551)
On 10/02/2009 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, we had a lockdown in our school for 2 hours because a man was sitting outside our school in his car with a gun in hand. I texted my mom telling her what was going on and that it's on the news. She responded saying "I'll tape it". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19389) - you totally deserved it (1669)
On 10/02/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by dannyboy1422 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband of five years told me he's leaving me and will be gone when I return from Iraq. When I told him I love him and asked him not to go, he said he won't file divorce papers just yet, but he's moving out-of-state because "we need time apart." I've been gone for most of the year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27750) - you totally deserved it (1322)
On 10/02/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by everyonesdivorced (woman) - Iraq (Baghdad)
Today, I sent my long-distance girlfriend the first photo of me I'd sent her in a while. It was a photo of me with some of my friends, she didn't know which one I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19704) - you totally deserved it (6636)
On 10/02/2009 at 4:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you totally deserved it (1360)
On 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm - health - by Poop (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend told me she lost her phone and not to call or text her. After about three hours, I text her phone, asking if she found it yet. I got a reply, saying "Nope." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26651) - you totally deserved it (2775) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 4:07pm - misc - by dumbass (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5583) - you totally deserved it (20211)
On 10/01/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by baseball25635 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24440) - you totally deserved it (6981)
On 10/01/2009 at 9:19am - love - by FootInMouth (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I invited over 30 people to come to the park with me since the day was nice and cool. I sat there for three hours by myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21127) - you totally deserved it (2493)
On 10/01/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
