Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

maddiiee00

Search for a member

maddiiee00

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1730
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About maddiiee00 : All you need to know is that I'm a female residing on the planet Earth. And I like skyrim a lot.

maddiiee00's page activity

Visits<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 9:12pm<b>Mooish</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 4:05pm<b>VivaLaColdplay</b> - the 10/05/2013 at 6:28pm<b>RichardDickanus</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 1:17am<b>BTF989</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 4:05pm<b>Falzou</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 10:57am<b>thiswhitey</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 4:54pm<b>lekimdraw</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 9:52pm<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 6:32pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 11:43pm<b>cristy91</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 11:30pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 11:46pm<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 11:34am<b>Bittenchaos</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 2:45pm<b>marykaitlyn</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 12:29am<b>SlapAndTickle</b> - the 08/11/2013 at 3:51am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 5:33pm<b>altpokey</b> - the 08/09/2013 at 10:59pm

maddiiee00's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of maddiiee00's badges

maddiiee00's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49550) - you deserved it (10684)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42351) - you deserved it (4699)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

#20864782
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17877) - you deserved it (128926)

On 09/02/2013 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45229) - you deserved it (19241)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, I had to finally accept that I have an eating disorder when I caught myself checking for the nutrition facts and calories on my shampoo. FML

#20864106
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40153) - you deserved it (7987)

On 09/02/2013 at 2:47am - health - by Jasmine_smilee - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

#20864021
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42585) - you deserved it (6917)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my obese son, who is on a health-mandated diet and exercise plan, gorges on junk food whenever he has the chance. His logic? "It won't make you fatter if you crap it out." FML

#20863945
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40413) - you deserved it (6134)

On 09/02/2013 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

#20863540
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44753) - you deserved it (3235)

On 09/01/2013 at 7:06pm - misc - by WaltTheFuckDad (man) - United States (California)

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, my friend told me she turned down a job as a babysitter because she didn't want to be secretly videotaped, as she knew the people had a nanny cam. I wasn't aware of this when I took that same job a few nights ago and asked my boyfriend to come by. We had sex on their couch. FML

#20862871
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26754) - you deserved it (92216)

On 09/01/2013 at 5:57am - intimacy - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I, for some reason, was talking to my mom about money. I jokingly said that the reason we're short on cash is because of her internet porn addiction. She replied, with a straight face, "How did you know?" I'm still not sure if she's joking or not. FML

#20862659
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41613) - you deserved it (5137)

On 09/01/2013 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

#20862628
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44840) - you deserved it (3152)

On 09/01/2013 at 12:40am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22252) - you deserved it (65399)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44299) - you deserved it (2867)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he would leave me if I didn't seek help for my eating disorder. The eating disorder in question? Vegetarianism. FML

#20860215
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41785) - you deserved it (18506)

On 08/30/2013 at 10:44am - health - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: