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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21299) - you deserved it (7284)
On 10/09/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35017) - you deserved it (2206)
On 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54403) - you deserved it (3534)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27670) - you deserved it (2425)
On 09/27/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39768) - you deserved it (2669)
On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, the weird receptionist at the hotel I'm staying at asked me if I needed an extra blanket because I "looked cold in my sleep last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (50175) - you deserved it (1593)
On 09/24/2009 at 5:50am - misc - by scaredtosleep (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I decided to propose to my girlfriend on the Charles Bridge in Prague. A little boy thought it would be fun to chase a flock of pigeons towards me. I freaked out and dropped the 2 carat diamond ring. Into the river. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44351) - you deserved it (7275)
On 09/22/2009 at 2:30pm - misc - by sadguy (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)
Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8845) - you deserved it (35801)
On 09/17/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by nV1ous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was with my seven year old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it, she responded loudly with "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24581) - you deserved it (3065)
On 09/12/2009 at 11:31am - kids - by nosexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40849) - you deserved it (2080)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving in the left lane and was suddenly hit by a woman who was in the right lane. I ran off the road, taking out a fence and totaling my car. When the cops asked the woman what happened she responded, "My tom-tom told me to turn left." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40507) - you deserved it (1462)
On 09/10/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (59508) - you deserved it (19200)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (191361) - you deserved it (9765)
On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (56014) - you deserved it (5348)
On 04/02/2009 at 12:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (293351) - you deserved it (57633)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
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