maddieick

Search for a member

maddieick

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1152
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About maddieick : I love reading Fml and I love reading the comments, especially when people are corrected for being a dumb arse.

maddieick's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of maddieick's badges

maddieick's favorite FMLs

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

by fuck teh poleese / 02/12/2012 at 4:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

by Ixi_the_pixie / 01/06/2012 at 11:16am / United States / Health

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

by anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

by haunted / 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working the drive-through at Mcdonald's, I was handing a gentleman his vanilla shake. He responded by popping the cap off, yelling "Fire in the hole!" And throwing it back in. He then quickly drove off. I was covered in vanilla shake. FML

by Anothernametaken / 11/18/2011 at 7:22am / United States / Work

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

by Tom / 11/01/2011 at 1:01am / United States / Love

Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML

by Deborah / 10/27/2011 at 2:41am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm / Ireland (Meath) / Miscellaneous

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

by optimistic2628 / 10/19/2011 at 10:03am / United States / Kids

Today, I came home crying after my boyfriend dumped me for another girl. My dad told me to come tell him what was wrong. I sat down and let it all out, after which he looked up from his book, into my eyes, and gave me his loving advice: "Just cry about it and move on to another bastard." FML

by bastard magnet / 10/02/2011 at 6:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, as I was training a new guy at work, my husband spent half the day creeping outside in his truck. FML

by Cristie / 09/30/2011 at 1:01am / Canada (Ontario) / Love