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maddiecat

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maddiecat
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  • Number of visits : 1227
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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maddiecat's favorite FMLs

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

#20936013
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58237) - you deserved it (6899)

On 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

#20935789
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31542) - you deserved it (2209)

On 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by Dor51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML

#20935603
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34976) - you deserved it (3547)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

#20931468
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32253) - you deserved it (1869)

On 10/23/2013 at 6:41pm - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML

#20930479
333 comments

Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML

#20926236
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44446) - you deserved it (4900)

On 10/19/2013 at 11:04am - misc - by sleepysophie (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was pushed off of a glacier by a very angry tourist. Why? I work as a glacier guide, and apparently some people find it overly frustrating to be informed that there isn't a café on the glacier. FML

#20924969
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43090) - you deserved it (2330)

On 10/18/2013 at 8:40am - work - by Quasimodo (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I realized I can't wait until my daughter moves out the house when she is 18. She is eight. FML

#20923587
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35483) - you deserved it (25466)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

#20921768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44757) - you deserved it (4456)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by secretsmakefriends (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20591) - you deserved it (78109)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52544) - you deserved it (2758)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52544) - you deserved it (2758)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

#20917413
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39184) - you deserved it (4354)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:19am - love - by oink oink... - United States (Texas)

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

#20917232
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39694) - you deserved it (2607)

On 10/12/2013 at 2:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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