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maddiecat

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maddiecat

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  • Number of visits : 3453
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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maddiecat's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:23am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:42am<b>riptor911</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 2:07am<b>NotGabe</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:37pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:22pm

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maddiecat's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40412) - you deserved it (7949)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30631) - you deserved it (38488)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25373) - you deserved it (43031)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (53795)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

#21116013
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36486) - you deserved it (12116)

On 04/18/2014 at 1:37am - misc - by Fatass - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML

#21115862
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49853) - you deserved it (4750)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:31pm - kids - by mommy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56125) - you deserved it (7835)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML

#21114249
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40142) - you deserved it (13070)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

#21114169
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39341) - you deserved it (6962)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:48pm - health - by Nose bleed - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend stayed over at my place for the first time. I left him in the bedroom for a couple of minutes while I used the toilet, and when I came back, he was holding my vibrator. He angrily asked me, "What the hell is this? You know this is cheating, right?" FML

#21113687
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57716) - you deserved it (8955)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35650) - you deserved it (8372)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML

#21110568
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47180) - you deserved it (5365)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, the guy I live with demanded that I get a job or start paying rent. It'd be perfectly reasonable, if he wasn't my husband, and if I hadn't just given birth to our first child. FML

#21110568
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47180) - you deserved it (5365)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47219) - you deserved it (2972)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML



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