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maddiecat

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maddiecat

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3080
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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maddiecat's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:55pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:42am<b>riptor911</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 2:07am<b>NotGabe</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:37pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:22pm

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maddiecat's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML

#21105342
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (8041)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by lamemom - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

#21105190
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41469) - you deserved it (12857)

On 04/05/2014 at 1:48pm - work - by =( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while showering, I pulled on my white exfoliating gloves ready to wash my face. As I was about to use them, a dark stain caught my eye so I sniffed the mark only to discover it was poo. After further investigation, I find out my younger sister had been wearing them and 'experimenting'. FML

#21104331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41962) - you deserved it (4089)

On 04/04/2014 at 10:17am - kids - by AshleyP - United Kingdom

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML

#21102946
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47848) - you deserved it (5914)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm - kids - by I Have Failed (man) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

#21101616
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53434) - you deserved it (6818)

On 04/01/2014 at 2:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43305) - you deserved it (32130)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my favorite band logo is no longer being used by said band because of copyright issues. I have this logo tattooed on my body. FML

#21100070
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (51726)

On 03/30/2014 at 10:27am - misc - by Cult (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

#21099986
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43171) - you deserved it (6290)

On 03/30/2014 at 6:04am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43639) - you deserved it (4780)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

#21099196
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44554) - you deserved it (3793)

On 03/29/2014 at 6:34am - work - by bringthemback (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

#21097153
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (35749)

On 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm - health - by athletiks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic, it sounds like I'm asking her if she's autistic. FML

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41434) - you deserved it (4195)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)



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