Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

maddiecat

Online | Search for a member

maddiecat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11875
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

maddiecat's page activity

Visits<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:17pm<b>SandpitNinja</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:25pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:23am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:42am<b>riptor911</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 2:07am<b>NotGabe</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:37pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:22pm

maddiecat's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of maddiecat's badges

maddiecat's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML

#21377225
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36121) - you deserved it (5705)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm - kids - by Stressed Mother (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sent my father a text asking when he was finally coming to meet his 4-month-old granddaughter. His response? "I forgot." He forgot he has a granddaughter. FML

Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML

#21376642
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34541) - you deserved it (4686)

On 03/17/2015 at 8:18pm - misc - by Idigrespectfulattire (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain)

Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

#21374140
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31534) - you deserved it (2742)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15659) - you deserved it (53698)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my ex-boyfriend asked me to homecoming, in front of the whole school, knowing I have social anxiety. I was forced to say yes to not seem like an asshole. Now I can't back out. FML

#21371675
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (7218)

On 03/10/2015 at 4:03am - love - by TooMuchAnxiety (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML

#21370942
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30367) - you deserved it (7506)

On 03/09/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by why they bomb - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML

#21370634
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (2982)

On 03/08/2015 at 5:49pm - misc - by uglyshoegirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at an important statewide band performance, my mom stayed in her seat, silent, while everyone else gave a standing ovation. FML

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

#21369589
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36986) - you deserved it (2390)

On 03/06/2015 at 10:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML

#21369220
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17364) - you deserved it (43574)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:20am - misc - by Byepax (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML

#21368886
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38321) - you deserved it (2869)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14985) - you deserved it (51695)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was turned down from the dream job that I was promised two years ago, once my chemo and radiation therapy was finished. His excuse? He never actually expected me to survive. FML

#21366066
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48093) - you deserved it (2235)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:36pm - work - by kysier (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19724) - you deserved it (58510)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: