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maddiecat

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maddiecat
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1308
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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maddiecat's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up needing to wee. I was at my boyfriend's and didn't want to wake him, so I sat on the edge of the toilet and peed as quietly as possible. I realised after that I'd sat too far over and had peed on the floor. There was no loo paper. FML

#16267774
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10455) - you deserved it (35359)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by lionhead14 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I threw a surprise birthday party for my 3 year old. There was music, snacks and lots of toys. My 3 year old is a cat. FML

#16231154
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10831) - you deserved it (34894)

On 05/17/2011 at 11:04pm - animals - by kaileigh10 -

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

#16221236
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12518) - you deserved it (62225)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I gave a girl answers to a test. She said she would give me something pleasurable in return. She gave me a Twinkie, saying, "I know how much fat people love twinkies." FML

#16207509
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24515) - you deserved it (33847)

On 05/16/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by pyroman1127 - United States (Utah)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18843) - you deserved it (58362)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I found there was a 4 year old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML

#16169430
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13420) - you deserved it (32148)

On 05/14/2011 at 9:32am - misc - by Plasticface (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31071) - you deserved it (14025)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -

Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML

#16149509
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29933) - you deserved it (4210)

On 05/12/2011 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Georgia -

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

#16144015
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11860) - you deserved it (49390)

On 05/12/2011 at 1:53pm - misc - by Jackassed - United States (New York)

Today, while changing a light bulb, I was electrocuted. I screamed before I blacked out. My entire family was home and heard me scream, but didn't come and check because they were too busy watching Glee. FML

#16122609
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39918) - you deserved it (6748)

On 05/10/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by Burnt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that I give the computer screen a thumbs up whenever I see something cool. I work on computers in front of people all day. FML

#16112747
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11130) - you deserved it (19469)

On 05/09/2011 at 11:44pm - work - by helen -

Today, an unpaid intern had his first day at my workplace of seven years. As a joke, my boss gave him the same challenge she gave me on my first day. The intern completed it in 37 minutes. We've always been told it's impossible. Guess we all have to start working harder. FML

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38732) - you deserved it (16719)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

#16092460
523 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17196) - you deserved it (61502)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realised just how grossly out of shape I am, when I started violently sweating, felt light-headed, and almost blacked out. All this from helping my sister shift a sofa from the move-in truck to her living room. FML

#16092299
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8425) - you deserved it (23275)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)



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