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  • Number of visits : 17955
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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maddiecat's page activity

Visits<b>RiftenGuard</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:42pm<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:17pm<b>SandpitNinja</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:25pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:23am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:42am<b>riptor911</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 2:07am<b>NotGabe</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:37pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:22pm

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maddiecat's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, minutes before I walked down the aisle at my wedding, my drunk mother stumbled up to me and told me she was depressed and wanted to leave. FML

by notnow / 09/26/2013 at 9:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML

by my gran is a cuntwaffle / 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2013 at 12:19pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, the creepy kid on the bus saved me a seat again. Thinking he wanted to be friends, I followed him on twitter. He was doing a live video feed so I checked it out. It was of me. FML

by AnAwesomePerson7 / 09/25/2013 at 6:30pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I bought some really expensive face wipes that were supposed to cure my awful acne. I was excited to use them until I found out my mom had used them all wiping down her car. FML

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

by so_screwed / 09/25/2013 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

by chinaski7628 / 09/24/2013 at 6:00pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

by cuntsmom / 09/24/2013 at 12:47am / United States / Kids

Today, my best friend told me that she no longer wants to cut herself because now she's madly in love with a guy in our school. She doesn't know that he's gay. FML

by friend loves a gay guy... / 09/23/2013 at 4:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, at my job as a fourth grade teacher, I realized that most of my students have far nicer and more expensive phones than I can afford. FML

by poor teacher / 09/23/2013 at 1:54pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a text from someone I met last night at a bar. We texted all day and planned to meet up later. The whole time I had in my mind who he was, but when we met up it was someone completely different that I didn't remember. I had to sit through the whole date pretending I knew him. FML

by MixMastaKDizzle / 09/23/2013 at 4:23am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

by baddad / 09/23/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids

Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 10:56pm / United States (California) / Money