maddiecat

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maddiecat

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15159
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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maddiecat's page activity

Visits<b>RiftenGuard</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:42pm<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:17pm<b>SandpitNinja</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:25pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:23am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:42am<b>riptor911</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 2:07am<b>NotGabe</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:37pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:22pm

maddiecat's FML badges

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maddiecat's favorite FMLs

Today, while babysitting, I made the kids and myself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When their parents came home, their dad took out the same container of peanut butter I had used and let their dog lick out of it. FML

by anon / 08/30/2015 at 2:44pm / United States / Animals

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, a homeless man asked me for some change. Not having any cash, I gave him a gift card for the restaurant I work at. When I got home I realized I gave him my credit card. FML

by ealovan / 08/24/2015 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, even after explaining to my boyfriend that I was self conscious about my breasts because they're slightly misshaped, he still persisted with begging me for a tit pic, saying he would still see me as beautiful. I gave in and sent one. He responded with "LOL WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSSSEE." FML

by YourAverageFckUp / 08/22/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

by notwhatithought / 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm / Germany (Bayern) / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about is not real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML

by technicallywroteabook / 08/21/2015 at 1:15am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by offering me a foot massage to ease my sore feet after a run. I asked for a lot of pressure. Now I'm back home in a walking boot after being diagnosed with a fractured fifth metatarsal bone. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2015 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2015 at 11:00am / South Africa / Kids

Today, I took the lid off my slow cooker to serve up a casserole that had been 12 hours in the making. A cockroach took the opportunity to dive in. My husband and I are now eating toast, while the delicious smell of casserole taunts us from the trash. FML

by MsMedea / 08/11/2015 at 8:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my parents told me they were getting divorced, at the beginning of a family road trip, adding that this'll be the last thing we ever do as a family. FML

by jordan.marie97 / 08/09/2015 at 2:27am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, the jackoffs at my new job kept making jokes about my prosthetic leg. When I finally lost my shit and told one of them to back off, he said "Woah there, Mr Pistorius!" then said he'll avoid using the restroom now in case I decide to shoot him through the door. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2015 at 1:31pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

by Oihana / 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I went to a garden party my friend had invited me to. I soon discovered they had seriously downplayed the formality of the event, as I noticed trays of fancy hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne lined up on the table. I showed up with Kool Aid and Ritz crackers. FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2015 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (Slough) / Miscellaneous

Today, the drive-thru lady at Taco Bell broke my debit card and tried to hide it by wrapping it in a receipt. FML

by stonehengeva / 07/26/2015 at 11:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, I'm grieving over the death of my best friend of 9 years. My mom wasted no time arriving at the conclusion that I must be hormonal and pregnant with his child. Apparently it's not normal for a woman to cry so much over a man, unless they've been fucking. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2015 at 12:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous