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maddiecat

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maddiecat

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2601
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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maddiecat's page activity

Visits<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:42am<b>riptor911</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 2:07am<b>NotGabe</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:37pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:22pm

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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maddiecat's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic, it sounds like I'm asking her if she's autistic. FML

Today, a tiny worm was wriggling across the screen of my Mac laptop. I tried to wipe it away with my thumb, but it just kept crawling. Turns out the worm lives *inside* my screen, beneath the glass. FML

#21092367
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41370) - you deserved it (4189)

On 03/21/2014 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML

#21091998
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35234) - you deserved it (4952)

On 03/20/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by no (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

#21090883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43082) - you deserved it (3449)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my boyfriend stormed out after I suggested to him that his relationship with his mother is maybe a little weird. Apparently having regular, hour-long phone discussions about your penis is a perfectly normal thing for a 23-year-old to have with his mother. FML

#21089774
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53068) - you deserved it (6484)

On 03/18/2014 at 5:14am - intimacy - by tiredofcrazy (woman) - Australia

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML

#21086140
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40284) - you deserved it (7287)

On 03/13/2014 at 11:36pm - love - by wabbyfish (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter". I'm a guy. FML

#21085066
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34407) - you deserved it (11725)

On 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by CurtisWogan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a teenage girl bumped into me and my phone fell out of my hands, and over the Golden Gate Bridge. FML

#21081896
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54024) - you deserved it (5480)

On 03/09/2014 at 1:08am - misc - by Seriously? - United States (California)

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

#21080782
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43072) - you deserved it (6202)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41040) - you deserved it (2924)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was shopping for dresses when my fiancé turned into what I can only call a groomzilla. He told me and my maid of honor that we need to lose weight because he's not "paying all this money for a pair of fatties to not look good." FML

#21075933
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42972) - you deserved it (6627)

On 03/02/2014 at 2:09pm - money - by Ms. Piggy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's adoptive family. There was his mom and several brothers, one of whom tried to hit on me. They tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me, and his mom told me I'll probably get knocked up by the brother who hit on me. FML

#21074608
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45018) - you deserved it (3643)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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