This member hasn't filled in the description.
One ring to rule them all
You submitted an FML that was successfully published on the website. This makes you an exceptional human being.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6622) - you deserved it (58506)
On 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm - kids - by KillMeNow (man) - United Kingdom (Sefton)
Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12169) - you deserved it (53572)
On 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm - misc - by planking champion (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5546) - you deserved it (37958)
Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5546) - you deserved it (37958)
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9004) - you deserved it (29768)
On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8758) - you deserved it (24821)
On 10/09/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Emily S - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11126) - you deserved it (27735)
On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my crush didn't make up a fake girlfriend to get me jealous; he made her up as a way to tell me to back off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8757) - you deserved it (20684)
On 10/08/2011 at 12:01pm - love - by Cassidy - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26562) - you deserved it (5328)
On 10/05/2011 at 7:48pm - misc - by Pookaa (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, after reading about seduction techniques, I wore shades and a brightly colored shirt to a club to attract female attention. However, the sunglasses rendered me almost blind, and I tripped over a step, crashed into tables, and thanks to the shirt, everyone saw it happen in glorious technicolor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6700) - you deserved it (28409)
On 10/02/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by hardtoignore - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I walked into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticed the cashier had what looked like a golf ball stuffed in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11280) - you deserved it (33387)
On 10/01/2011 at 8:33am - misc - by lollipopgreen - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9627) - you deserved it (56898)
On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)
Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22371) - you deserved it (2864)
On 09/23/2011 at 1:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5500) - you deserved it (33713)
On 09/14/2011 at 10:27am - health - by Fattymuch (woman) - India (Karnataka)
Today, I found out that my parents used all of the college money I have been saving up for 8 years to buy a beach house. The reason they waited until now to tell me? A tree fell on it, and they need more money for repairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30084) - you deserved it (1719)
On 09/12/2011 at 3:36am - money - by Me - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
