Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

maddiecat

Online | Search for a member

maddiecat

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11782
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

maddiecat's page activity

Visits<b>cdncw</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:17pm<b>SandpitNinja</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 11:25pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 10:23am<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:42am<b>riptor911</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 2:07am<b>NotGabe</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:37pm<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 6:22pm

maddiecat's FML badges

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of maddiecat's badges

maddiecat's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fired from my dream job for being pregnant. Apparently, you can't teach children while growing one inside you. FML

#21444439
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32990) - you deserved it (2340)

On 07/20/2015 at 10:29am - work - by mrsmahdi - United States (California)

Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was so incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML

#21443212
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12956) - you deserved it (39462)

On 07/17/2015 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I saw my friend at the mall. He didn't see me, so I called him to say "Turn around." He took one look at his phone, snorted loudly enough for me to hear from way off, and put it back in his pocket. FML

#21442628
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25264) - you deserved it (2256)

On 07/16/2015 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

#21441433
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29052) - you deserved it (1795)

On 07/14/2015 at 6:33am - misc - by ow my kidneys (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I took away my 8-year-old daughter's toy for throwing it too many times. She then said, "I need a beer." FML

#21440427
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23241) - you deserved it (5468)

On 07/12/2015 at 10:25am - kids - by brichard22 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML

#21439756
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37536) - you deserved it (1959)

On 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I told my boyfriend how my mom died when I was 11 after crashing her car into a tree at night. He muttered "Women drivers." FML

Today, I had to sit through an entire movie where every time a new character was introduced, the guy sitting behind me would say, "My name is Jeff." FML

#21438229
70 comments

Today, during family therapy the therapist asked if I believe I'm a good parent/husband. When I said yes my two sons, my daughter and even my wife very passionately disagreed. FML

#21437483
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24108) - you deserved it (12121)

On 07/06/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by --- - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I rang up a good friend to ask her to be one of the two bridesmaids at my upcoming wedding. Before I could ask, she let me know that she would not be attending my wedding, as, "Weddings are expensive, so I'm not attending ones for people that are just acquaintances". FML

#21435764
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27355) - you deserved it (2229)

On 07/03/2015 at 6:30am - misc - by NeedMoreFriends (woman) - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24103) - you deserved it (1610)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

Today, we had a long meeting at work about how we are supposed to feel safe, and to come to the managers if we have any problems. I decided to speak up about a coworker that has been harassing me and several others. My manager laughed at me and walked away. FML

Today, I found an unfamiliar ring in my purse. Thinking it was fake, I gave it to a little girl. Thanks to my mother, I later found out that the ring was my grandmother's and it was made of gold and had a real ruby. My mother added that my grandmother trusted me to keep it in our family. FML

#21433516
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19269) - you deserved it (29719)

On 06/28/2015 at 10:02pm - kids - by AddictiveAddicted - United States (Colorado)

Today, after my daughter told half her class about my retainer, I advised her to keep mummy's personal details personal. Now she responds, "I'm not supposed to tell" to any question regarding our home life. Thus far, I've received six very concerned calls. FML

#21433102
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (2442)

On 06/28/2015 at 1:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: