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maddiecat

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maddiecat
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  • Number of visits : 2681
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 23 posted

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maddiecat's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41465) - you deserved it (25423)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
370 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41465) - you deserved it (25423)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40505) - you deserved it (2148)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

#20595392
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20085) - you deserved it (37235)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:01am - money - by LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

#20592364
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58216) - you deserved it (3136)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44805) - you deserved it (5216)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40759) - you deserved it (4305)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML

#20571483
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27402) - you deserved it (2963)

On 04/02/2013 at 11:04am - health - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63852) - you deserved it (5862)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had an interview for a job I really wanted. On my resume, I wrote that I speak conversational Spanish, although I don't. When I arrived for the interview, my interviewer decided to conduct it in Spanish. FML

#20549811
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6159) - you deserved it (64444)

On 03/18/2013 at 7:42pm - work - by nohablaespanol - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25822) - you deserved it (42956) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML

#20517994
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9543) - you deserved it (35560)

On 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I uploaded the first chapter of my best writing yet to a popular writing website. After ten minutes, I was thrilled to already see one review and five comments. Each comment was telling me to immediately delete the story because of how horrible it was. The rating was half a star. FML

#20514789
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20735) - you deserved it (6813)

On 02/20/2013 at 11:36am - work - by Apparently not a writer (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the n-word. FML

#20507523
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31975) - you deserved it (6283)

On 02/14/2013 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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