macelonel

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Offline (the 03/03/2016 at 6:40am)

macelonel

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 837
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About macelonel : There is nothing to know about me.

macelonel's page activity

Visits<b>Jbam1997</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 12:46am<b>konan__</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 2:58am<b>Spectemur</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 5:09pm<b>slingerslasher</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 12:15pm<b>Supaviper</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 3:29pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 8:18am<b>anonymousme123</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 5:34pm<b>lilferrit</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 5:14pm<b>lgtservbot</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 5:26pm<b>ClockworkPoleaxe</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 3:26am<b>tremendoustremmy</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:41pm<b>netflixislove</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 8:25pm<b>BigLatchZatch</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 2:55pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 4:03pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 6:31pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 10:39pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 6:31pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:38am

Fucked!<b>Supaviper</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 9:29pm

macelonel's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of macelonel's badges

macelonel's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm a car salesman. I got told to cold call a list of previous customers, but I recognised the names as I phoned them all last week; I told the manager this. He slammed his fist on my desk and told me to stop lying and do as I was told. I got told to "fuck off" 27 times. FML

by Arcam89 / 02/22/2016 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Work

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my grandmother what she looked like when she was young. She casually replied, "I was ugly, sweetie. Just like you." FML

by Anonymous / 03/07/2014 at 1:25pm / Philippines (Quezon City) / Miscellaneous

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 4:57pm / Egypt / Kids

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

by jsyn / 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

by awkward / 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2013 at 4:32pm / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2013 at 1:56pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

by Ashley / 10/07/2013 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I broke up with my abusive girlfriend. She responded by breaking into my place and stabbing my hamster with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

by x_o / 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm / Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron) / Work

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

by x_o / 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm / Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron) / Work