maceee_armstrong

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maceee_armstrong

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 October 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2006
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About maceee_armstrong : I'm Macy. I'm 19, and I live in Memphis. I LOVE sports..basketball and football are my faves. My favorite movies are Saving private Ryan, gangs of new york, and fight club. I love to cook also. I paint and sing. I'm pretty cool I think...I'm real. Hit me up.(:

maceee_armstrong's page activity

Visits<b>EddiesGirl</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 9:46pm<b>Ssandro</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 1:02am<b>RevengeIsSweet</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 7:21pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:53pm

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maceee_armstrong's favorite FMLs

Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML

by cupcake_butt / 10/17/2011 at 4:39am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

by margelover / 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML

by socks / 09/21/2011 at 3:01am / United States / Animals

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

by Emily / 08/21/2011 at 12:54am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML

by Username / 08/17/2011 at 7:37pm / United States / Love

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML

by KillMeNow / 06/06/2011 at 2:27am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

by dumped / 06/05/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

by satisfied88 / 06/02/2011 at 10:49am / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML

by blahblah493 / 05/26/2011 at 12:15am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boss scheduled a staff breakfast at a swanky new restaurant for all the hard work we've been doing. The dining area is on the roof, and the building has no elevator. I've been in a wheelchair for 11 years. When I brought this to my boss's attention, he said it wasn't his problem. FML

by jayc80 / 05/20/2011 at 1:59pm / Bermuda (Hamilton) / Work

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

by IhateThem / 05/14/2011 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my dad chugging a beer in the garage. Why is that so bad? He was hosting an AA meeting in the basement. FML

by Eric / 05/12/2011 at 10:19pm / Health

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

by Chels / 05/11/2011 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I puked up a centipede. FML

by vaalcrawford / 05/11/2011 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.