About maceee_armstrong : I'm Macy. I'm 19, and I live in Memphis. I LOVE sports..basketball and football are my faves. My favorite movies are Saving private Ryan, gangs of new york, and fight club. I love to cook also. I paint and sing. I'm pretty cool I think...I'm real. Hit me up.(:
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55365) - you deserved it (2805)
On 10/17/2011 at 4:39am - misc - by cupcake_butt - United States
Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28128) - you deserved it (6230)
On 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm - intimacy - by margelover (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)
Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34929) - you deserved it (2063)
On 09/21/2011 at 3:01am - animals - by socks - United States
Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24275) - you deserved it (27442)
On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)
Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6823) - you deserved it (24999)
On 08/17/2011 at 7:37pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105334) - you deserved it (5807)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81025) - you deserved it (7243)
On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54702) - you deserved it (2833)
On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)
Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (10788)
On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -
Today, I walked in on my mom trying to wax her butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38385) - you deserved it (4698)
On 05/26/2011 at 12:15am - intimacy - by blahblah493 - United States
Today, my boss scheduled a staff breakfast at a swanky new restaurant for all the hard work we've been doing. The dining area is on the roof, and the building has no elevator. I've been in a wheelchair for 11 years. When I brought this to my boss's attention, he said it wasn't his problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40019) - you deserved it (2166)
On 05/20/2011 at 1:59pm - work - by jayc80 (man) - Bermuda (Hamilton)
Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31659) - you deserved it (3310)
On 05/14/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by IhateThem - United States
Today, I saw my dad chugging a beer in the garage. Why is that so bad? He was hosting an AA meeting in the basement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (1833)
On 05/12/2011 at 10:19pm - health - by Eric -
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52445) - you deserved it (3651)
On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I puked up a centipede. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44953) - you deserved it (5743)
On 05/11/2011 at 12:59am - health - by vaalcrawford - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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