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maceee_armstrong

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maceee_armstrong

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 October 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1249
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

About maceee_armstrong : I'm Macy. I'm 19, and I live in Memphis. I LOVE sports..basketball and football are my faves. My favorite movies are Saving private Ryan, gangs of new york, and fight club. I love to cook also. I paint and sing. I'm pretty cool I think...I'm real. Hit me up.(:

maceee_armstrong's page activity

Visits<b>Ssandro</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 1:02am<b>RevengeIsSweet</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 7:21pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:53pm<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 05/10/2011 at 2:01pm

maceee_armstrong's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of maceee_armstrong's badges

maceee_armstrong's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML

#20098929
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30713) - you deserved it (2510)

On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26908) - you deserved it (3439)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17106) - you deserved it (26356)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35995) - you deserved it (2281)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my husband's family for the first time. My nightmare versions were better. FML

#20055328
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22413) - you deserved it (2429)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19330) - you deserved it (46990)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered why my girlfriend is so obsessed with cutting my nails. She collects my clippings in a jar under her bed. She claims it will keep us together longer. FML

#20049093
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27731) - you deserved it (2149)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:04am - misc - by freaked out - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

#20043967
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29394) - you deserved it (2473)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

#20042115
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34557) - you deserved it (3276)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend's phone was stolen. I have no idea who I've been sexting the entire afternoon. FML

#20033737
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29093) - you deserved it (8304)

On 08/21/2012 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Sexting (man) - United States

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

#20032910
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26015) - you deserved it (2820)

On 08/20/2012 at 11:02pm - intimacy - by majorlyturnedoff (woman) - United States

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48087) - you deserved it (3420)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
508 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11431) - you deserved it (151912)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML

#20024180
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (1200)

On 08/16/2012 at 8:10am - misc - by mdp624 - United States (Pennsylvania)



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