m3talc0re

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Offline (the 01/10/2015 at 3:45am)

m3talc0re

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2801
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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m3talc0re's page activity

Visits<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 10:00pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 11:31pm<b>Calaraphea</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 2:36pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 11:27pm<b>Wjanzen32</b> - the 12/23/2013 at 10:19pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 4:29pm<b>Sir_ND_Pity</b> - the 12/19/2013 at 6:22pm<b>soixante444</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 6:07pm<b>Riley695</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 10:45pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 9:46pm

m3talc0re's FML badges

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m3talc0re's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

by Taylor / 04/21/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, at a big Easter egg hunt, the kids found a wild bunny. Everyone smiled and "aww"ed, until my dog caught and ate it in front everyone. FML

by BetterThanChocolate / 04/20/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 5:38pm / Slovenia (Domzale Commune) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

by Not-pregnant / 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

by Ow / 04/18/2014 at 7:09am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML

by Fatass / 04/18/2014 at 1:37am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm 25 years old, I've got an education and I only now found out in front of 15 people that, no, sparrows are not small pigeons that are going to grow up. FML

by pablito / 04/17/2014 at 6:37am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals

Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML

by kittykat798 / 04/16/2014 at 8:00pm / United Kingdom (Dundee City) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, one of my most problematic students remained after class, whence he strongly insinuated his interest in receiving oral sex; I tried to convey just how inappropriate that was, when he interrupted, "Look, will you at least touch it?" FML

by MILF / 04/16/2014 at 6:03pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

by fuckyouharddad / 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with my anxiety and to meet people who felt similar. I joked with my friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

by all by myself / 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm / Ireland (Cork) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend turned down a job that would have more than doubled his income because he didn't want to upset his current boss by quitting. FML

by heartmytrucker / 04/14/2014 at 5:58pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after a dental appointment, my lips were numb. On the bus on my way back home, the cutest girl smiled at me. In attempt to smile back, I forgot my lips were numb and ended up spitting my chewing gum at her. I had to switch buses. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2014 at 6:12am / Malta / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML

by so scared / 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous