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lzmo

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lzmo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1673
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lzmo : Insert text..

lzmo's page activity

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lzmo's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of lzmo's badges

lzmo's favorite FMLs

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

#832092
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26039) - you deserved it (47707)

On 04/06/2009 at 7:47am - kids - by trashcanned (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was talking with my father on the phone when I mentioned I wanted to stay at school over the summer and work. He asked if it would be lonely with the campus empty, when I replied that my friends would be working here too. He asked: "What, all two of them?" FML

#829744
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49931) - you deserved it (4608)

On 04/06/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by halebop (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

#807564
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37925) - you deserved it (85895)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

#664071
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132326) - you deserved it (10335)

On 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by Michaelichael (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81762) - you deserved it (16166)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

#622257
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95425) - you deserved it (8300)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by ThanksMom (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (243695) - you deserved it (32125)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

#483851
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135594) - you deserved it (13392)

On 03/20/2009 at 2:11am - intimacy - by firsttimer69 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125321) - you deserved it (12709)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML

#470055
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33416) - you deserved it (87872)

On 03/19/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LindseyS (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in an elevator with my brother and a woman. He signs to me that she has a 'damn fine ass'. I chuckle and then shake my head. He shrugs. A second later the woman signs to us, 'Rick, don't you remember me?' Turns out she helped teach my brother sign language when he was six. FML

#434812
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43370) - you deserved it (23662)

On 03/18/2009 at 3:59am - misc - by elevator-troubles (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42549) - you deserved it (191867)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42549) - you deserved it (191867)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125280) - you deserved it (36519)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)



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