lzmo

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Offline (the 06/23/2016 at 1:38am)

lzmo

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5729
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lzmo : Insert text..

lzmo's page activity

Visits<b>cheyluvsturtles</b> - the 06/10/2016 at 12:56am<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 8:43am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 10:26pm<b>Mendez07</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 1:16am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:36pm<b>facelick</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 2:01pm<b>monkey8970920</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 2:44pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:24am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:30pm<b>ilysmfae</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 1:25am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:26pm<b>Phishbonez</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 4:23am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:00pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:48pm<b>Theater_Chef_3</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:53am<b>xxBFMVAAMIWxx</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:13am<b>csjc</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:48pm<b>theomgwoman</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:57pm

Fucked!<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:44pm

lzmo's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of lzmo's badges

lzmo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, a friend and I went to Gamestop to pick up a game he wanted. I ended up buying a 17+ game, and I was prepared to show my license, but he stopped me an said, "I know you're 18". He then said, "Man, I've pretty much watched you grow up in this store." A game salesman watched me grow up. FML

by Rech / 05/12/2009 at 7:09am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML

by mistake / 05/11/2009 at 5:09am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

by Familyskank / 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

by vinniesuckmadack / 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got dressed in what I thought was a really adorable outfit. I had a cute pink skirt on, a white tank top and silver strappy sandal heels. On my way to the mall a car pulls over and this guy asks me how much for three hours. FML

by gabormelchior / 04/23/2009 at 4:07pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

by fencernick / 04/22/2009 at 6:40am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

by Litterbox / 04/19/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Texas) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

by trashcanned / 04/06/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I was talking with my father on the phone when I mentioned I wanted to stay at school over the summer and work. He asked if it would be lonely with the campus empty, when I replied that my friends would be working here too. He asked: "What, all two of them?" FML

by halebop / 04/06/2009 at 1:26am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

by heytherexo / 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was mowing the lawn of my brand new house, located in a very nice neighborhood (I am a hispanic male), and a lady in her nice white cadillac drove up and asked me, in extremely broken spanish, if I could mow her lawn too. FML

by Michaelichael / 03/28/2009 at 4:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

by badmom / 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

by ThanksMom / 03/26/2009 at 2:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy