Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lzmo

Offline (yesterday at 5:57pm) | Search for a member

lzmo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3436
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lzmo : Insert text..

lzmo's page activity

Visits<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:24am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:30pm<b>ilysmfae</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 1:25am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 12:26pm<b>Phishbonez</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 4:23am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:00pm<b>Jellybellybeanz</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 8:48pm<b>Theater_Chef_3</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:53am<b>xxBFMVAAMIWxx</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:13am<b>csjc</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:48pm<b>theomgwoman</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:57pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:09pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:18pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:38pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:51am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Quick8686</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 2:59pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 12:30am

lzmo's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of lzmo's badges

lzmo's favorite FMLs

Today , my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute cuz he trid to kill his mother!! He also told me we will be together forever!! I'm scard!! FML

#18005142
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52838) - you deserved it (4890)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:02am - love - by bubba - China

Today... I have been pissing blood fir 2 hours... ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

#17981728
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32381) - you deserved it (2077)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)

Yesterday, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend!! I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye!! She just giggled the entire time!! FML

#17938205
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12291) - you deserved it (23820)

On 10/08/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

TODAY, MAH NEW COWORKER ASKED IF I KNEW HER DAUGHTER. I RESPONDED YES AN ASKED HOW HER PREGNANCY WAS GOING. SHE DIDN'T KNOW HER DAUGHTER WAS PREGNANT. BIG FAT FML

#17920889
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38894) - you deserved it (6162)

On 10/06/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

as I was walking home from school with mah guy friends, mah dad pulld up by the sidewalk, offerd me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he startd laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school . FML

#17874410
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25899) - you deserved it (6106)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, mah ex took mah cat and gave her to an animal shelterhile I was at work, saying he can't stand living with her any longer !! He's moving out in 2 days !! mega FML

#17847763
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28780) - you deserved it (2383)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:40pm - animals - by Jeimaiku - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody cummed into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt . He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer putted his head under the stall to look at me . FML

#17839732
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38336) - you deserved it (3156)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

#17729404
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34783) - you deserved it (3649)

On 09/12/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by siikman313 - United States (New York)

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling cuz her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: ( You ned Jesus. ) FML

#17727242
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27414) - you deserved it (2417)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)

Today, My Mom An I Had A Fight In The Car Over Who Farted. The Result? She Wanted To Smell My Underwear When We Got Home, To Prove It Was Me. FML

#17716214
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31125) - you deserved it (3320)

On 09/11/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by AnDroidZ_BabY - United States (Texas)

yesterday grlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, an is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushd down an forcefully kissd ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a grl. It was her. FML

#17699087
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37697) - you deserved it (4648)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41093) - you deserved it (28049)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked mah Dad if it was true that mah mother had a C-section at mah brth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36013) - you deserved it (4516)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Taday while riding the bus , a creepy guy gave me the ( rape glare ) an another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. fat FML

#17597780
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27659) - you deserved it (2619)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm - misc - by Revalation - United States

Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's ( totally insane ) ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there 4 half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. big fat FML

#17563055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28036) - you deserved it (5216)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:44pm - love - by Embarassed (woman) - United Kingdom (London)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: