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lzmo

Offline (the 10/21/2014 at 11:56pm) | Search for a member

lzmo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1861
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lzmo : Insert text..

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lzmo's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of lzmo's badges

lzmo's favorite FMLs

Today, my new coworker asked if I knew her daughter. I responded yes and asked how her pregnancy was going. She didn't know her daughter was pregnant. FML

#17920889
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38741) - you deserved it (6148)

On 10/06/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (6094)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my ex took my cat and gave her to an animal shelter while I was at work, saying he can't stand living with her any longer. He's moving out in 2 days. FML

#17847763
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28589) - you deserved it (2372)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:40pm - animals - by Jeimaiku - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

#17839732
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38186) - you deserved it (3142)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

#17729404
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33445) - you deserved it (3547)

On 09/12/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by siikman313 - United States (New York)

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

#17727242
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26334) - you deserved it (2321)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom and I had a fight in the car over who farted. The result? She wanted to smell my underwear when we got home, to prove it was me. FML

#17716214
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30940) - you deserved it (3316)

On 09/11/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by AnDroidZ_BabY - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told me she knows I've been cheating on her, and is desperate to prove she's "better than that other slut, or it's over between us." I've been pushed down and forcefully kissed ten times now. All because she saw a pic online of me kissing a girl. It was her. FML

#17699087
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36822) - you deserved it (4485)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by waj9876 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40538) - you deserved it (27746)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34897) - you deserved it (4403)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while riding the bus, a creepy guy gave me the "rape glare" and another guy repeated every word to the conversation I was having with my friend under his breath. FML

#17597780
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27502) - you deserved it (2610)

On 08/27/2011 at 7:06pm - misc - by Revalation - United States

Today, at a party I bumped into a friend of my ex. We caught the same bus home. He started telling me about my ex's "totally insane" ex-girlfriend. He refused to believe me when I told him he was talking about me. I had to sit there for half an hour as my personality was ripped to shreds. FML

#17563055
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27859) - you deserved it (5203)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:44pm - love - by Embarassed (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my religious parents were hosting a family dinner. Not only did we have to wait over an hour for my grandma to finally show up, but when she did, she had her 30 year old boytoy in tow. Apparently, "Granny has needs too you know, hahaha!" Goodbye peaceful family. FML

#17471582
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24987) - you deserved it (2808)

On 08/14/2011 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I informed my parents that my husband and I are separating after much deliberation. We came to this conclusion relatively peacefully. According to my parents, I'm now Satan, and will end up on the streets as a crack whore if we don't change our minds and stay together. FML

#17436937
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26843) - you deserved it (3617)

On 08/11/2011 at 2:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41017) - you deserved it (6285)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)



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