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lzmo

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lzmo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1605
  • Number of comments : 74
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lzmo : Insert text..

lzmo's page activity

Visits<b>Theater_Chef_3</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:53am<b>xxBFMVAAMIWxx</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 10:13am<b>csjc</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:48pm<b>theomgwoman</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:57pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:09pm<b>brewmasterg</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 7:18pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 12:38pm<b>bmba94</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 1:51am<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 10:23pm<b>Quick8686</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 2:59pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 12:30am<b>michaeljc7</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 9:32pm<b>Chokobolt</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:40pm<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:28pm<b>TheDeafDudeinCA</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 7:19pm<b>MattiiEng</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 6:04pm<b>miztigers53</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 12:27pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 12:38pm

lzmo's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of lzmo's badges

lzmo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML

#20126556
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20951) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25349) - you deserved it (6575)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23233) - you deserved it (4265)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26891) - you deserved it (6931)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

#20102155
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29322) - you deserved it (3632)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on a plane returning to University, and I decided to shut my eyes. I opened them about 45 minutes later just as the plane landed to find I couldn't move at all. I was in sleep paralysis. The air hostesses had to lift me out of my seat. FML

#20090890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25324) - you deserved it (1828)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:46am - health - by Dave (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (1470)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML

#20030486
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27447) - you deserved it (1591)

On 08/19/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, on more than one occasion, I was mistaken for my boyfriend's mother, by his own family. FML

#19998610
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21987) - you deserved it (2120)

On 08/02/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML

#19993820
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25662) - you deserved it (4267)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:36am - kids - by mcase - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML

#19992901
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28442) - you deserved it (2573)

On 07/30/2012 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ukraine (Kyyiv)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27464) - you deserved it (2361)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after being upset at the fact that my phone was stolen at work, I received a note on my locker saying, "100 bucks and you get the phone back." My phone is being held for ransom. FML

#19972193
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21892) - you deserved it (1510)

On 07/22/2012 at 1:04am - work - by missingphoneproblems (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML

#19951439
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6702) - you deserved it (51665)

On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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