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lzmo

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lzmo
  • Town/Country : Norway
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 920
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About lzmo : Insert text..

lzmo's last visitors

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lzmo's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of lzmo's badges

lzmo's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML

#19657382
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4554) - you deserved it (28108)

On 05/21/2012 at 2:42pm - kids - by sickdisney (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24332) - you deserved it (2760)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me as I was browsing a baby name website. I explained to him that I was naming characters for a novel I was planning to write, but he is completely convinced that I'm pregnant, and has even told his parents. FML

#19631017
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19186) - you deserved it (2466)

On 05/16/2012 at 4:20am - kids - by inapickle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I attended a formal banquet. The host was delivering a speech, when I felt the urge to pee, so I tried to quietly excuse myself. My chair screeched over the floor as I got up, I tripped over my own feet, and I accidentally took the door leading outdoors, where I ended up peeing in shame. FML

#19613905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18067) - you deserved it (3297)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by Andy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a chest x-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

#19564735
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (1934)

On 05/02/2012 at 6:41pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11263) - you deserved it (38065) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37786) - you deserved it (2463)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

#19505395
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21365) - you deserved it (3435)

On 04/21/2012 at 9:04am - love - by still hungry - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a blood drive. The nurse taking my blood mentioned that she'd been called in on her day off, and she swore she wasn't drunk. I didn't know what to do, so I just smiled and blinked back tears as she savaged the vein in my arm. FML

#19466370
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19976) - you deserved it (2581)

On 04/14/2012 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while driving my car near a farm, I hit a man on the side of the road. I started freaking out and got out of the car to help him. It was then that I found out that I'd hit a scarecrow. FML

#19457431
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15845) - you deserved it (5787)

On 04/12/2012 at 7:53pm - misc - by questionmark707 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to see my grandfather in hospital, to see how well he's recovering from his stroke. He asked who I was. After I told him I'm his grand-daughter, his head almost rolled off his neck in disappointment. FML

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

#19423040
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10966) - you deserved it (35541)

On 04/07/2012 at 11:27am - intimacy - by anonomous - United States

Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML

#19406343
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7202) - you deserved it (34319)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by woohoo420 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15718) - you deserved it (28884)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was fooling around with my husband on the bed. I was excited as he lifted my arms up in a seductive way, only to roll deodorant under my armpits. FML

#19337633
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11802) - you deserved it (31041)

On 03/24/2012 at 8:14am - intimacy - by SG - United States



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