Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lyssgross

Search for a member

lyssgross

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7878
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About lyssgross : Hey! I'm Lyss, nice to meetcha! I love meeting people, do message me.
I have a wonderful boyfriend, a great family, and I'm really into music. Actually I just got my record deal signed sealed and delivered! I can be a grammar natzi, but on this site I'm here because of my addiction to FML posts. Some will get a random message from me, because I love meeting new people! I love perdix and docbastard, and the one with the Harry potter muggle rainbow thingy as their profile pic. Dang, I need to add some commas. Well, I sing country music and should probably go to bed. It's 3 am. Anyway, have a nifty day!

lyssgross's page activity

Visits<b>Coland</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Pikathedoge</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 9:59pm<b>sethsmith11</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 1:23pm<b>rainbowsandshit1</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 11:25pm<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 12:38pm<b>Aiden89</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:31pm<b>SuperDani</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 1:08pm<b>kirstenmartin</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:02am<b>Tthug</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 12:10am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:31am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 9:27am<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 10:16am<b>soovyl</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 7:43am<b>SampleSext</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 9:54am<b>Im_a_Believer</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:37pm<b>RoseWithThorns</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 7:56am<b>deepfreeze78</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 5:14pm

Fucked!<b>SampleSext</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 5:14am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 3:59pm

lyssgross's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lyssgross's badges

lyssgross's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML

#20677651
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52788) - you deserved it (12057)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50187) - you deserved it (7016)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44015) - you deserved it (12509)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML

#20668963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60057) - you deserved it (6063)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

#20668938
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42537) - you deserved it (5249)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

#20666917
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21222) - you deserved it (37804)

On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47316) - you deserved it (2727)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44126) - you deserved it (4262)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48174) - you deserved it (9193)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51564) - you deserved it (18308)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, my little brothers wouldn't stop teasing me over the fact that I'm a virgin and they are not. They are 13 and 16, I'm 22. What's worse? My dad quickly joined them. FML

#20657675
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59753) - you deserved it (7252)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by lamsolonely - United States

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

#20655918
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73041) - you deserved it (5197)

On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

#20654425
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59110) - you deserved it (6025)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28532) - you deserved it (55171)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML

#20620173
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30629) - you deserved it (44998)

On 04/25/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by goingtobeevicted - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: