About lyssaahmarie : clearly you're not factorable so you need to know anything about me.
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Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25368) - you deserved it (3786)
On 07/02/2011 at 2:33am - misc - by Kamburgler - United States (California)
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34316) - you deserved it (2745)
On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I just bought a car with all of my own money. Then, when I brought it home my dad informed me that my mom will be driving it to work every day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36768) - you deserved it (2717)
On 06/05/2011 at 11:29pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27380) - you deserved it (9165)
On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -
Today, I'm in a relationship with a guy who yells at me everyday for things I didn't do, is in a dead-end job and is not attractive whatsoever, but I can't bring myself to break up with him because he would get to keep the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10289) - you deserved it (35714)
On 12/13/2010 at 9:01pm - love - by blahblah (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43840) - you deserved it (3013)
On 10/23/2010 at 2:07am - love - by Oriianna Raiinbow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me because 'I look like his hamster when I'm eating sunflower seeds.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (22573) - you deserved it (4128)
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32021) - you deserved it (2225)
On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38249) - you deserved it (10979)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I got married. My mother told me to stop being difficult, because she was the mother of the bride, and it was her day to shine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29900) - you deserved it (1906)
On 02/03/2010 at 12:58pm - love - by bluebride (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5695) - you deserved it (64399)
On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40788) - you deserved it (2979)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41688) - you deserved it (2266)
On 07/17/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by heresmybellybotton (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (89995) - you deserved it (5239)
On 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm - love - by ILTali (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14312) - you deserved it (38052)
On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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