lyskiss

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lyskiss

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 925
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About lyskiss : Goal in life: to ride a camel.

lyskiss's page activity

Visits<b>Scrambled</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:41am<b>BlueAmaryllis</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 4:45am<b>Colorcoded</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 2:39am<b>ksadhera</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 8:23pm<b>justjeffo7</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 12:14am<b>ThriceWritten</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 8:27pm<b>aherne</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 11:28pm<b>xDochx</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 7:30pm<b>Porcei</b> - the 03/26/2013 at 4:25am<b>wilks311</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 11:59am<b>superrocket19</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 12:05am<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 4:39pm<b>hawright</b> - the 01/11/2013 at 6:32am<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 6:23pm

lyskiss's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of lyskiss's badges

lyskiss's favorite FMLs

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

by funnymanjoe / 09/14/2011 at 7:06am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

by Angie / 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm / France / Love

Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML

by EllieJ / 03/23/2011 at 11:22am / Health

Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML

by Gem / 02/11/2011 at 5:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, I was woken up at 3:00 am to the sound of a tape recording of a baby crying, loudly. This has been going on for 3 nights, non stop. Why? because I brought up the subject of having a baby with my wife. Clearly, you can see where she stands. FML

by kfoehslfns / 08/01/2010 at 4:45am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

by Catholicguy / 12/20/2009 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

by smellyhand / 12/16/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, a bee flew in my car so I swerved off the road and hit a mailbox. It was a metal keg filled with cement buried in the ground. Taking my father's advice I fled the scene. Later my mailman knocked on my door holding part of my bumper. He said "Excuse me, I think you hit my mailbox this morning." FML

by Sybil90 / 11/11/2009 at 8:03am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

by PanFace / 10/13/2009 at 2:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML

by jane / 10/09/2009 at 10:04am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML

by MissMSE / 09/18/2009 at 4:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was cutting the grass when I saw a man staring at me from my neighbor's garage. This went on for 5 minutes until I finally yelled 'hello'. There was no response, and I was creeped out, so I called my neighbor. It was a life-sized Paul McCartney cutout. FML

by cachow / 09/06/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up screaming. Why? Well, I was complaining to my dad yesterday about how I always hit the snooze button and just roll over when my alarm goes off, and how that results in me being late for morning classes. My dad thought he'd help out by placing a mousetrap on the snooze button. FML

by emperor / 07/21/2009 at 1:38am / Bangladesh (Dhaka) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

by EpicFail / 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals